Parenting

Referee and personal bathroom attendant: These are the two job titles I feel I work hardest at and do the most of in my household. Ironically, I am not trained as either (do bathroom attendants receive training?). I’m trained (educated) in the world of finance and English (creative writing was always my favorite) yet I […] More

If never you’ve been to a PTA meeting, please allow me to encourage that you do try to attend at least one. Not because it’s even remotely exciting, or because you want to be involved in yet another organization for which you haven’t the time to commit, but because it’s just a circus. I say […] More

Dear Parents that Send Sick Kids to School/Practice/Games/Birthday Parties, I hate you. No, really; I actually hate you. I don’t like hate – I say it as a way of expressing myself, but hate – to me – feels like such a wasted emotion. I dislike a lot of things and a lot of people […] More

As my twins walk around the house playing with an empty water bottle and a hairbrush, I ask myself why we spend thousands of dollars every year on toys for these little humans. Why? We buy all these amazing toys that seem as if they are going to keep our kids entertained for hours and […] More

I honestly have no idea what I’m talking about half the time when I’m speaking to my kids. They’re asking these difficult questions, maybe behaving like little monsters or even just talking to me in a way that leaves me unsure exactly what’s going on. That’s when I realize that kids are confusing, kind of […] More

Honesty is the best policy; unless you live with kids. In that case, honesty is not always the best policy (well, honey, I think it would be a lovely idea for you to go to VPK tomorrow and tell all your friends exactly how babies end up in mommy’s bellies so daddy and I are […] More

Dear Parent I’m Going to Assume Means Well because the Alternative is that You are Just a Jerk Who Just Tried to Discipline my Child, Unless my child is in imminent danger and you are yelling for her to stop running into traffic as a bus barrels down on her as you scream, “NO! Get […] More

I love you all so much; all four of you. I love you, eldest, for being so mature and intelligent and so well-behaved and helpful. I love you, consummate middle child, for being such a force of nature; such a big personality and such a strong leader. And babies, you darling little twins that shocked […] More

“I am never going to treat my kids the way you treat me! It’s not fair!” is a phrase I remember using on a regular basis growing up. I never thought my parents were fair. They obviously hated me and wanted me to be miserable. In fact, they were punishing me for being born. They […] More

My kids are the light and joy of my life. Okay, not really. I love them, and they are joyful and happy little things and they do make me happy. But they are not the light and joy of my life. They are so many things, but the light of my life is stretching it […] More

I love the baby phase. I know that I’m in the minority; I do. My husband and I have four kids (7, 4.5 and 1.5-year-old twins) and all four of them were the most amazing babies you’ve ever met. We have come to the conclusion that God must not think we are capable of handling […] More

My kids have to wake up at 7:30 am so we can leave by 8:30 am to get the two oldest to school on time. It shouldn’t take an hour to get them ready, but I also have 18-month-old twins and my husband leaves for work at 6:45 am, so it’s just me and five […] More