Tiffany Raiford
I love the baby phase. I know that I’m in the minority; I do. My husband and I have four kids (7, 4.5 and 1.5-year-old twins) and all four of them were the most amazing babies you’ve ever met. We have come to the conclusion that God must not think we are capable of handling very much, because he blessed us with four kids – including twins – that slept through the night right away (and four at least 6 hours at a time from the very first night they were home) and he gave us easy kids. They nap like champs. They behave like champs. They are champs.
We have amazingly awesome babies. Now, we get payback times 6 when they reach their toddler years. They drive us crazy. They make us nuts, and they are so busy we don’t even want to take them anywhere because it’s so exhausting. Karma; we know. But from birth to about 14 months and from 3 to so far 7, things are amazing. Still, though, even with newborn babies that are sweet, darling, amazing sleepers, there are just a few things I do not miss about the baby phase in the least.
Diapers
Oh, diapers; unfortunately, I still have those times two. We do have year-and-a-half old twins, after all. But one day those will be gone and I will not miss them. I do not miss them with my two oldest. No, lie; I do miss them with our middle. She’s 4.5 and she doesn’t feel the need – at all – to wipe thoroughly (sometimes at all) when she goes to the bathroom. Her reason is that “I don’t like to touch my butt,” so she just pulls up her pants and goes about her way. That means a big mess when it’s time to clean up. We’re talking the toilet seat, her underpants, her actual pants and sometimes the places she likes to sit the most in our house smell a bit like a kid that doesn’t like to wipe. She’s gross. Diapers would be better for her until she learns the importance of cleanliness.
Onesies
Snaps in the privates vs. shirts that just pull on and have no additional work required – it’s plain to see the clear winner here, right?
Swaddling
I’m a swaddling cheater. I couldn’t master it, so I bought the swaddlers that Velcro and used those religiously. Now that we don’t have to swaddle anyone, though, life is so much faster and so much more enjoyable.
Making bottles
Measuring water, measuring formula, carrying water, carrying formula, shaking everything around, not being able to make bottles too far in advance; buying formula. All of the above equal a big, fat yuck in my opinion. I do not miss any of them!
Pumping
So, I’m not exactly well-endowed, and I never produced much to begin with, but I sure did try. And pumping was the worst. The worst; you’re just kind of stuck and you have no choice but to sit around a do this while everyone else in the house is running amok, and it’s tedious. Oh-so-tedious.
Formula
Did I mention that buying formula is not something that I miss? Did I mention that I have twins? Did it mention that we were buying 4 containers of formula a week for almost a year? Did I mention that I spent more than $5200 on formula in a year? Did you know that that’s a lot of money to spend on powder? I mean, really.
Feeding Them
I used to have no problem feeding my kids. I actually loved it. It was fun and we had a good time. And then we had twins, and then feeding them too twice as long. It was twice as messy to clean up, and there was too much crying and too many tears; one bite for you, tears from the other, a bite for the crying baby, tears start with the other baby. Oh my goodness and oh my nerves. They feed themselves now, and it’s the best thing that ever happened to us.
Worrying about SIDS
Funnily enough, I knew of SIDS long before we ever had kids, but I never worried about it. And then all of a sudden we had the twins and we were so hyped up on all that could go wrong; our son was partially deaf in both ears, they were preemies, we brought a 3 lbs. 15 oz and a 5 lbs. baby home from the hospital and we were terrified of everything that never worried us before. I worried about SIDS every moment of every day for a solid year with the twins when I barely gave it a passing thought with the older two.
Strangers Touching my Babies
Strangers can be so inappropriate, am I right? Anyone else deal with random people you’ve never met reaching down into your stroller to touch your baby with their germ infested hands and God only knows what else on them? I mean, honestly; when was the last time you were overwhelming drawn toward touching someone you’ve never met. Um, how about never? I’ve never felt the need to touch someone I don’t know, stop them or even converse with them in the least. Am I the only person left like this?
Frequent Visitors
Some people love it, I do not. I love to entertain, and I love when people come over to visit. However, I only love it on my schedule, and not on everyone else’s. I am a homebody most days. I like my schedule and my routine, and I like things my way. I’m not a fan of people coming over and interrupting that in any way, shape or form. It’s just not for me. I like it when people just stay home and only come over when I invite them rather than when they want to invite themselves.
Having toddlers means people are less likely to want to come visit (I don’t blame them) and I’m so totally absolutely fine with that.
Photo by Getty Images
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