Gossip and backstabbing are, unfortunately, a way of life for many. There’s a huge difference between discussing with one friend how great another friend looks after giving birth and discussing how great she looks after giving birth because you suspect she had plastic surgery. Cattiness is ugly; it always has been and it always will be. Now, I’m not saying that I’m perfect, I’ve been known to gossip from time to time and I’ve certainly had a few catty moments, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that gossiping and backstabbing is not only hurtful and mean, it’s immature.
Gossiping and backstabbing are the marks of a mean girl, and I don’t want to be a mean girl so I made it a point to quit. I’ve rid myself of the people who I don’t like, so I’m not tempted to gossip or become catty with them and I’ve made a huge effort to keep those things out of my vocabulary. For the past six months or so, I’ve done a pretty good job of it, and I feel so much better about myself than ever before. Now I want to share with you how to deal with cattiness and backstabbing in your life and always come out classy, and on top.
Choose Your Friends Wisely
Instead of having a group of 100 friends, I have a group of four or five really close friends. These are the people my husband and I spend the majority of our time with. We have other friends who are present at functions, but these are the people we are closest to and the only ones with whom we discuss personal business or opinions. This means we aren’t part of the petty drama and gossip that goes on around us. We keep to ourselves and enjoy each other’s company in a healthy, mature manner that makes us all very happy.
When someone tries to get you involved in a conversation about someone else that makes you uncomfortable, remove yourself from the situation. Additionally, if someone approaches you and says they heard so-and-so saying negative things about you, ignore it. Confronting people only makes the situation worse. Think about this: If so-and-so is talking about you today, she probably won’t be talking about you tomorrow. However, if you confront her about her backstabbing she will feel stupid and attacked and she will continue to say bad things about you even longer. Just let it go.
Remember That People Will Believe What They Want
It doesn’t matter how many times you tell the truth and deny the rumors, people will say what they want about you and others will believe what they want about you. Case in point: When a person knows you to be a good person and another to be a really bad person with a bad habit of lying and making stories up and chooses to believe the bad thing that crazy person says about you, she’s not your friend anyway. If she believes something someone else says despite hearing the truth from you she was looking for a reason to think poorly of you. Do you want that in your life? No. Just remember that nothing you say will change the minds of people who want to have something to dislike you for. As long as you know the truth and you are happy with your life, that’s all that matters.