Two pink lines (or two blue lines or the word “Pregnant”) appear on a stick you just used the restroom on and it’s officially the best day of your life! Please remember to wash your hands before you run out of the bathroom to tell your husband you are expanding your family, and wait just a little bit longer to begin your Buy Buy Baby Registry. Believe me, as the mother of four, it’s not easy to wait a little longer to register, but you should. Why? One – the first 12 weeks of pregnancy come with a large percentage of miscarriages. It’s unfortunate, but it’s true. Two – you don’t know what you’re having. Three – you don’t even know how many you’re having. Just wait to hit up the stores for your registry. Maybe wait until you have a bit of a bump before you start registering for diapers and wipes.
In all seriousness, the idea of registering for your new baby is a tumultuous marriage of excitement and dread, especially for first time moms. What do you register for? What do you not register for? What do you really need? What is a total and completely waste of time? What is inappropriate? What’s appropriate? What on earth is that? There’s a lot to consider. There’s a lot that you need now that you won’t need later, a lot that you will buy that your baby won’t need. Additionally, there is a lot of information on the internet (and spewed from the mouths of complete and total strangers who just know what’s best for everyone) and from your well-meaning friends and family all about what you need when it’s time to register.
Guess what? You don’t need all that stuff. In fact, there are few things in life less fun than going home with an abundance of stuff you just don’t need when the baby arrives. And you are responsible for putting it away, cleaning it and/or taking it back. At that point in your pregnancy, you won’t have the time, desire or patience to want to bother. Save yourself the trouble and take our advice about what not to put on your Buy Buy Baby Registry.
What NOT to Add to Your Registry and What to Add Instead
Do you warm your toilet paper before you go to the bathroom? No, you do not. Do you store your baby wipes in the fridge? No, you do not. So why bother with the wipe warmer? It’s not that warm in the first place, and your wipes aren’t that cold in the first place. Even after four kids, I still have no issue with regular old wipes that just come out of a refill package when it comes to wiping baby bottoms. They’re fine. Don’t bother with it, because you’re not going to use it. You’re not going to feel the need to unpackage all your wipes and place them in there. You’re going to want to pull them right out of the package and use them ASAP. Especially since you always run out in the middle of a massive blow out and just don’t have time to deal with the extra little details. Do yourself a favor and just register for wipes. And diapers; you’ll need a lot of those.
Why…just, why? Believe me when I tell you that Buy Buy Baby has plenty of items you can add to your registry, but you certainly do not need to make stuffed animals one of them. You’ll get them, no need to register. I promise you that by six months of age, you will need a baby stuffed animal intervention. Your home will be filled with them, and your baby will only care for one of them. You will hate them, and you will fantasize about throwing them all in the trash, but people will keep bringing them into your home. Do yourself a favor, and don’t encourage it from the start. Instead, register for a few chewy toys your kids can have when they’re teething.
Baby Care Books
Just don’t. You don’t need a book that tells you how to take care of your baby. If you’re going to get a book that tells you anything, get the ones that tell you what to expect during your pregnancy. However, you know that you’re going to be so overwhelmed with books that tell you what to do because you aren’t going to do it. Then you’re going to feel like a horrible mother, and then you’re going to be depressed and cry, and then no one is happy. Just go ahead and skip the book registry and add, instead, some gift cards to your registry.
People will buy you clothes, but they will not buy your baby the clothes for which you registered. They will buy whatever they want, and they’ll probably buy the cheapest stuff possible. Whatever you do, don’t register for baby clothes. It’s a waste of your time and your energy, and you’ll be disappointed when you don’t get what you wanted. Additionally, don’t bother registering for things like wash cloths and bibs. People will get them regardless, but not the ones you want. Register for gift cards – or multi-packs of onesies so that you have plenty. Kids are gross, and their clothes get nasty quickly (gross in a sweet and very adorable way).
Personal items; why mention this? Perhaps because some people actually do this, and it’s not appropriate. Sure, one baby is enough at the moment, but that doesn’t mean you can register for condoms. Additionally, we all know you will need some feminine products immediately after giving birth and while breastfeeding, but don’t register for those. Save yourself your grandmother’s embarrassment and buy your own bra inserts and condoms. Please. Buy your own. Register, instead, for a big, expensive breast pump and either get it as a gift at your shower or buy it for yourself with a discount after your shower.
How sweet is that gorgeous paisley bedding set with the bumper, frills, lace and ooh-la-la décor that will look just gorgeous on your new Pottery Barn Baby crib? Don’t register for it. The second you add that to your registry you’re going to logon to Facebook to post your new weekly baby bump calendar pic and see an article that says something like, “Fancy Bedding and Bumpers Bad for Baby,” because it’s actually true. They’re pretty, yes. They complete the nursery, yes. They also kill babies. Babies who get their faces caught against the bumper can’t breathe and suffocate. Babies who can’t roll or move on their own get their faces stuck against those fancy pillows and blankets and suffocate. There’s also some information available about how baby blankets and soft bedding increase a baby’s risk of SIDs. So, you can have a gorgeously decorated nursery or a safe baby. It’s not a difficult decision. Instead, register for a boppy pillow for your own comfort.
They’re cute, sure, but you’re baby isn’t going to wear them. Ever. Babies don’t wear shoes. They’re too small to actually fit into shoes, they’re going to rip them off at all times, and they’re going to make baby cry. If you’re a first time mom, you might not already know this; but you don’t want your baby to cry. Let’s also talk about how you don’t want to spend an extra 30 minutes in the supermarket heading back to aisle 7 a dozen times to retrieve the shoes your baby just removed and hurled. Because he or she will do this, and you will waste time. You have better things to do. Get socks. They’re awesome, more difficult to remove and have the same effect.
You’ll get some free of charge at the hospital. Ha! Free! No, kidding, they are free. Well, they seem free. They don’t itemize that bill after insurance covers their portion, but there’s a pretty good chance that since the Tylenol you took after giving birth doesn’t really cost $100 a pill, you might be paying for those free pacis (and diapers, and wipes, and pads the size of a Buick). Either way, don’t register for these. They’re cute, and cheap and they come in every color and every design and you totally think you need a paci for every single individual outfit in which you dress your kid, but at the end of the day, you don’t want 39 pacis. Your kid will only suck on one of them for the next 6 months anyway. They know the difference. We don’t know how they know the difference between 2 of the exact same pacis, but they do. Instead, register for baby bath stuff. You can never have too much of that.
There are these things call pack-n-plays. Register for one. You will use this as a play yard at some point. You will use this when you travel for your baby to sleep in when you’re in a hotel room or your mother-in-law’s guest room. You will use this in your bedroom. It’s a great changing table, it’s a great babysitter, it’s a great everything. You don’t need a fancy bassinet. Where are you going to put all this stuff?
Baby Laundry Detergent
It’s special. It’s going to keep your baby safe and healthy and free of allergic reactions. For all of one wash, because guess what? You’re going to get really tired, really quickly, of separating the baby’s laundry from the rest of the laundry in the house. It’s too much work. But you don’t want to smell like a baby for the rest of your life, because the guys at work are not going to let you live that one down. So you’re going to get lazy fast and begin washing everything together. Not to mention the fact that baby laundry detergent is like 4 times more expensive than regular laundry detergent, so the people shopping for you are going to skip over something else that you might actually need and/or use for your baby in favor of ordering this stuff for you. Skip it and register for more onesies. You’ll do less laundry if you have more onesies.
Every Baby Toy Ever
Your newborn baby does not need three tummy time mats, four jumping machines and a swing with an attached bouncy seat, a stand-alone bouncy seat, a bumbo, an activity table attached to a bumbo and a travel bouncy seat. Your baby needs a swing with an attached bouncy chair that slips right on and off, one activity mat (if even that) and only one play item. The truth is that your baby would much rather roll around on the floor when that time comes than be confined to yet another baby product. What should you register for? Baby outlet covers. People need those. Your kids will try to electrocute themselves at least once, and you should try really hard to be prepared for it. Buy Buy Baby has plenty of this stuff to add to your baby’s registry, but that doesn’t mean you have to add it all.
The Diaper Genie
You don’t need this. So many new moms think they need this, and some love it. But you don’t need it. It’s a gross waste of money. Why? Because it smells, and it doesn’t prevent your baby’s nursery from smelling. What the diaper genie is, is a large tube shaped white item that fills with bags that are priced ridiculously high and don’t last nearly as long as you need them to. The concept is good. You put dirty diapers in this and close the lid so that you don’t have to smell them (and yes, they do smell bad. Anyone who tells you baby poop doesn’t smell too bad is a big fat liar). However, every single time you open that thing up to put a new diaper in it, you will be assaulted – really assaulted. The smell will permeate the air in the nursery, seep down the hallway and into the living room and kitchen, no matter how quickly you shut it again. Do yourself a favor and spend $3 on a package of little blue baby powder scented bags (there’s something like 50 in a pack) and place all dirty diapers in there, tie it and toss it. There, no smell.
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