15 Things You Can Drop The Mommy Guilt About

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Mommy guilt is as much a part of being a mommy as having the child is.  You aren’t a mother very long before you feel mommy guilt over something.  Maybe you forgot to cut their tiny little nails before they saw grandma or you forgot to bring an outfit for when the spit all over the extra one they are already wearing.  It doesn’t really matter what you first feel mommy guilt over because it is a feeling that is going to be with you all of your life.  But a lot of times, we feel guilty when there is no need to feel that way.  Here is a list of some of the most common things we have mommy guilt over and why we shouldn’t any longer.

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1. Working Out

We shouldn’t feel guilty because we take time to work out.  Working out is one way we are being a good mom, for several reasons.  One, we are taking care of our bodies so that our health is good to take care of our children and we will hopefully have a longer life to be with them.  We are setting a good example in taking care of ourselves and hopefully our children will follow in our footsteps.  We are also showing them that mommy is a person too and has feelings and needs.  None of these are things we should feel mommy guilt about.  We should be proud we are setting such a good example for them.

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2. Going Out On A Date

We often feel mommy guilt when we leave our little ones crying because we are going out to dinner and a movie with their Daddy.  We feel bad and are tempted to just stay home or load them up and head off for the closest Disney film.  That is not a good idea.  One of the best things we can do for our children is take care of our marriage.  When Mommy and Daddy are happy, we are giving our children a more stable home life.  We also are setting a good example of taking care of your marriage for our children and they will hopefully learn to do that when they are older.

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3. Working

This may just be the biggest trigger of mommy guilt that there is.  Mothers are pulled in so many different ways but the truth is some moms have to work  and some moms want to work.  And both reasons are okay and nothing to feel mommy guilt over.  Working is a part of our lives and we are not wrong if we want to have that.  There is also nothing wrong if we choose to stay home.  But a mother is more likely to feel mommy guilt if she works.  When you work, you are helping to make a financial contribution to take care of your child or maybe making the whole contribution if dad isn’t working or isn’t in the picture.  Taking care of your child is a financial responsibility you can be proud of meeting.

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4. Buying Things For Yourself

Moms get so in the habit of caring for their families that sometimes they feel mommy guilt when they decide to buy something they want or need.  We should not do this!  Mom’s need things and want things just like everyone else.  It is very sacrificial to pass on that lovely Kate Spade purse when Timmy needs a new pair of shoes but there is also nothing wrong with buying the purse or whatever you do want if you know your children are not in desperate need of something.  This is a fine balancing act but it can be done.  There is no need for mommy guilt over spending on yourself.

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5. You Made A Bad Judgement Call

You know, moms are just people.  They are human like everyone else.  We really try hard to be perfect but we can’t be, as much as would like that.  But we really feel mommy guilt if we feel we have made a bad judgement call.  Maybe you missed the fact that little Susie had an ear infection until it was very bad or you thought that advising your preteen daughter to just talk things out with her friends was the best idea and it backfired.  We can’t be all or do all.  All we can do is our best and let the mommy guilt roll off our backs.  These are mistakes, not intentional bad decisions.  Forgive yourself and move on.

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6. Making Your Kids Work For Money

It is a fine line.  You want to give your children things but you want them to appreciate them and know the value of money, also.  It is okay if you don’t hand over money to your children when they want something.  Setting little chores aside for them to do to earn money will teach them a valuable lesson and is nothing that you should feel mommy guilt over.  You are helping them to become responsible and think clearly about what they really want to spend their money on.  Spending money they have worked for is different than spending money handed to them.

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7. Letting Them Watch TV And Play Video Games

There is a lot of bad being said about allowing your child tv time and allowing them to play video games.  It makes you have mommy guilt if you do allow them these privileges.  But it really shouldn’t.  If you can’t tell that these things are harming your child, then why should you allow mommy guilt to get you down?  Of course, if you notice violent tendencies after you son plays a certain video game then you will want to take action.  And of course you want to know what they are watching and monitor their shows.  But as long as you are involved in their choices in entertainment then shed the mommy guilt on this one.

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8. Not Loving Candyland

Let’s all be honest, here.  Not too many of us love getting sent back when we are so close to reaching that last square.  We don’t love the game but we love the time with our children.  It is okay to not enjoy the activities your child wants to do and that is nothing to feel mommy guilt over.  Those activities aren’t meant for us to enjoy; they are designed for children.  Try to just focus on enjoying your child.  You can also find activities you both enjoy such as going out for ice cream or taking a walk.  Lose the mommy guilt over the fact you don’t love to play tea party and move on with your day.

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9. Letting Them Eat Junk Food

Junk food is just a part of life.  That doesn’t meant that we have to consume large quantities of it or provide it in excess to our children but it does mean that sometimes they are going to have more of it than they really need.  Because honestly, none of us need junk food.  There is no reason to feel mommy guilt over the fact your child has some junk food, even if it is a candy bar before dinner.  As long as you know you are providing good, healthy meals to your children then what is a bag of M&Ms going to hurt every now and then?

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10. Disciplining Your Children

We adore our children and absolutely hate when we have to discipline them but we know that we must.  Even though we know that misbehavior has to be addressed, we often allow ourselves to feel mommy guilt over it.  What we should feel guilt over is if we choose to not deal with their misbehavior and allow them to continue acting out and acting in ways they should not.  While you cannot correct every little thing with your child there should be a list of things that are absolutely unacceptable in your home and you child should understand them.  When they break a rule, you need to discipline them.  No need for mommy guilt in this situation.

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11. They Act Opposite Of What You Have Taught Them

Don’t we all feel just terrible when you take your child out in public and they act absolutely awful?  It is embarrassing and we just want to crawl under the nearest table and disappear.  Isn’t it horrible when you take them to visit a relative and they act ungrateful for the food presented to them or say something very rude about it?  The fact is, as much as we try to mold our children into being polite people, they are their own person and are not going to always do as we have taught them to do.  This is no reflection on us and nothing to have mommy guilt over.  They are just children and will learn the correct social mannerisms in time.

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12. Insisting They Go To Bed On Time

Children need their sleep.  It helps them to have strong immune systems, to grow and to do better in school.  But just because it is good for them doesn’t mean they want to give you any help in this area.  To them, going to bed makes no sense.  They have so much to explore and learn through play each day.  It is hard to see a fun activity be interrupted by bedtime.  But it is important for their health and you have no reason to feel mommy guilt over this.  You are doing the right thing for your child by insisting that they get adequate rest.

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13. Going Overboard On Holidays

The holidays are a special time of year and it makes sense that you want to give your children as many things on their wish list as possible.  As long as you aren’t putting yourself over your head in debt, then you have nothing to feel mommy guilt over.  The important thing isn’t how much you give to your children, it is making sure that they understand appreciation and are being grateful for the things that they are receiving.  Work on teaching them to say thank you and writing thank you cards to relatives who send gifts.  That is nothing to feel mommy guilt over, either.

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14. Saying No When All The Other Parents Say Yes

For all of time, children have been telling their parents that all the other kids are doing something or that all the other kids have something.  While that is more than likely not true, even if it is, you have to make a decision on what is right for your child and your family.  This is a very difficult concept to explain to your child but it is nothing you should feel mommy guilt over.  Once you have made your decision, you don’t owe your child an explanation.  Sometimes it helps to explain but sometimes it just opens up the door for more arguments.

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15. Wanting To Protect Them From Everything
We do know that we have to let go of our children and allow them to grow up and experience the world on their own but we want to hold on as long as we can and protect them for everything that we can.  There is nothing wrong with that and that is nothing to feel mommy guilt over.  It is your love for your child that makes you want to keep them under your safe wings.  We do have to let them go but having that urge to keep them under you safe protective arms is not anything to feel mommy guilt over.  It is just a sign of your love.

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