Five Things to Stop Wearing…Now

Every woman on the planet has committed at least one fashion faux pas (acid wash jeans and a teased perm, anyone?). Most women documented their not-so-stylish days thinking they looked completely fabulous; today, however, the look is more laugh-worthy than fashion-forward. You may even look at your own daughter and say to her, “One day, you’ll look back on that outfit and cringe.” Before you go passing judgment on today’s fashion trends, make sure you aren’t a hypocrite. Just like some women look horrid in yellow and should avoid it like the plague, and no one – no one – should ever wear mom jeans, there are certain looks that grown women simply cannot pull off. If you have something on this list, run – don’t walk – to your closet and get rid of it, stat.

Short shorts

If you have the legs to rock them, there is not a thing wrong with shorts on the short side. However, adult women should never, ever wear shorts so short they barely cover your cheeks. Not only does the look scream “desperate!” it also gives people a preconceived notion about the kind of woman you might be, even if they couldn’t be further from the truth. When your makeup artist told you to highlight your cheeks, she meant the ones on your face.

Hello Kitty Anything

Ladies, if your daughter has it on a back pack, on her sunglasses, on her clothes and on her pull-ups: don’t wear it.

Scrunchies

You wore them all through high school, and that’s where you should have left them. There really is nothing else you can say about the scrunchie; it’s just not attractive and it makes you look like you forgot to celebrate the end of 1992. Leave the scrunchies to the cheerleaders and toddlers of the world.

Pigtails

Enough said. (See Hello Kitty Anything and Scrunchies.)

Crop Tops

Unless you are in your bikini and working on your tan on the beach, no one needs, or wants to see your mid-riff. A good rule of thumb on this rule is that if you don’t find it appropriate for your daughter, don’t wear it. There was a time and place (cheerleading competitions) to wear mid-riff shirts, but that time ended long before you stopped being asked for identification for lotto tickets and wine.

The simple rule for dressing is to keep it classy. If you want to show some skin, pick one area of your body. A revealing neckline means a longer hemline. A shorter hemline is a great way to show off your long, lean legs but your chest and shoulders need to be covered up. If it comes from the juniors department or any store in the mall with music so loud you cannot hear yourself think, and perfume so thick you cannot see a foot in front of you – don’t buy it. Your days of teeny-bopper wear are over; embrace the elegant, sophisticated items that will flatter your body and make you look more attractive than you ever thought possible.