The Emotional Stages of Buying Your First Home


Buying a house is always an emotional moment in anyone’s life. However, buying your first home is something that is even more emotional. It’s the single most expensive purchase you will ever make, and it’s one of the most important. Do you want to raise your kids here? Is this your dream home or your forever home? Is this your short-term home? Is this where you want to stay and live for many years or do you want to move elsewhere in a few years? There’s a lot that goes into buying a new house, especially that first one. My husband and I built our first home, and that was a stressful, exciting, wonderful, terrifying moment. It was not our forever home, but it was a home we wanted to make our own. And we just bought our second home – which kind of made us first-time buyers since we didn’t go through the ‘buying’ phase when we built. It was emotional. I actually thinking buying is more emotional than building, but it’s faster. So what we’ve done is go through the long list of emotions you will feel when it’s time to buy your first home (or third, whatever) so that you know what to expect.


At first, you’re going to be excited. You’re going to go through the process, find a lender, see how much you qualify for and then you’re going to get started. You’re buying a house! Your life is changing for the better! Everything is amazing and wonderful and perfect! What on earth could be wrong with life right now? Nothing!


There is literally nothing available for you to buy. You cannot find anything in your price range that has what you want, and you are furious. You want to buy a house now. You don’t want to wait for the perfect house to come along. Do you settle for that house that was kind of great or do you wait? This is making you angry. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.


This. Is. The. House. You have found it. It is yours. It is everything you ever wanted, and you are about to make the biggest decision of your life. You’re putting in an offer. You’ve done it. You’re nervous. Will they accept? Oh my goodness; you are so nervous. Can’t they just accept it already?


It’s been accepted or it’s been rejected or it’s been countered. You have to make a decision, and you’re scared. You just bought a house and you’re terrified. You just lost the house you wanted more than anything, and you’re terrified you won’t be able to get it. The seller’s just countered and you’re not sure you want to offer anymore. You are terrified.


It’s yours. You found the house you want and the offer was accepted, or countered and then accepted or made new and accepted. You want to shout from the rooftops that you have a new house and you are happier than you’ve ever been in your entire life!


It’s time for the inspection. The air conditioner doesn’t work. The plumbing is old. The roofing needs to be repaired by a professional residential roofer like Division Kangaroof or a commercial roofing contractor. Better yet, you can ask experts like these roofers in Easley, SC to inspect it for you or get help from a local professional. Can you afford this stuff? Is the seller going to help you with some of it so that they can unload this house and let you move in without putting in anymore money? You just don’t know. You are terrified and fearful and nervous, and it is completely understandable.


The house is fine, the inspection came back and all is well. The financing is in order and you’re about to close. It’s literally just a matter of closing at this point and the house is yours. You can’t decide if you are beyond happy at this moment or if you will wait for happiness after you have the signed papers and keys to your new house in your hands. But you are definitely relieved. The hard part is behind you.


Closing was changed again because the banks and the seller cannot get their stuff in order. You were closing this week and now you’re closing next week. Or maybe you were closing next week and suddenly you are closing tomorrow. Or you were closing today but now it’s been changed to next Tuesday. There is definite impatience in this step, and it’s one of the longest parts of the process when it comes to buying a new house. It’s scary.

You’re Scared

You’re about to sign away a lot of money, make a big down payment and change your life forever. You are about to be a homeowner, and it’s an expensive undertaking. So, how is this going to work? You have to pay for this house. It’s expensive. Are you going to be able to afford kids now? Are you going to be able to sell if you need something bigger? What if you move in and the house falls apart and leaves you miserable and unhappy? You’re scared, and it’s normal. Don’t worry about it. Just be calm – if you can.

You’re Relieved and Happy

You’ve closed! The house is yours! You are relieved, happy and beyond excited and you just can’t contain the amount of excitement and happiness you feel. It’s normal, and it’s something that you should hold onto for the rest of your life. Don’t forget this feeling because you will not have it again, and you will never feel as good about opening that front door as you do right now. You should hold onto it and enjoy it.

You’re Stressed

It’s time to move in and you’re stressed. The good news is that everyone is stressed when it comes to moving in, and you’re not alone. Just remember that when the weekend is over, you’ll be all moved in and able to enjoy your house. I like to move into my houses in one day or two – and that means doing whatever it takes to get everything hung up, unpacked and completely taken care of. Then you never have to worry about it again.

Photo by Tim Boyle/Getty Images


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