You Are Your Mother, And It’s Okay

Remember growing up and telling your parents that when you have your own kids you would never treat them the way your parents treated you? Oh yes, you remember that. We’ve all been there. Whether your parents refused to let you date a boy in college when you were in high school or extend your curfew on prom night, you probably swore up and down you’d never be such a bad mother to your own kids. Now that you have your own kids, how are you doing with that? Yes, that’s what I thought. Even I am guilty of doing things exactly like my parents, though I swore I never would. Sometimes you turn into your parents without even realizing it, and other times you realize that they were, in fact, not always horrible parents.

Punishment

Think back to how your parents punished you. A Wake Forest University study proves that most parents punish their children the same way they were punished as children. If your parents were spankers, you probably spank your kids. If they were big on time out and grounding, you probably do the same.

Unfair Treatment

As a teen, your parents probably didn’t let you get in the car with just anyone. My parents had to intimately know my friends and their parents before I was allowed to ride with them. And even then I was required to call as soon as I left and as soon as I arrived at my destination. I swore I’d never be so rigid with my kids. Now I have two of my own and I don’t even let their aunts, uncles and grandparents drive them around. My husband and I are the only people permitted to put my children in the car. I can only imagine how they will hate me as teens…

Unless your parents were abusive and not very good at parenting, it’s probably okay that you are turning into them. If you can’t decide whether or not you are comfortable with being too similar to your own mom and dad, take a look at you. You turned into pretty awesome adult, so there’s still hope for you and your kids.