What Your Kids Learn from Your Marriage

My husband and I have a great marriage. We enjoy each other, we enjoy our kids, we have fun, and we love a lot. However, we aren’t immune to arguments and fights. Sometimes they are over something worthwhile, like the time my husband had my car detailed for me (love him) and then put the car seats back in the car. He was interrupted before he got our 18-month-old’s car seat in the car and set it down intending to come back – needless to say, he forgot all about it. I drove our child to the grocery store without knowing her car seat wasn’t attached to the car. Luckily, nothing happened and I noticed that it seemed loose when I got to the store and realized it wasn’t attached.

Other times we argue over silly things, like the fact that he always hangs my dresses in the wrong place in the closet (hello, they are color coded!). Either way, even the best couples argue. What we like to do, however, is make sure that we do it in a healthy way so that our kids don’t learn anything negative from us. It’s not always easy when one of us is seething with anger – like finding out the car seat isn’t attached, but we do it. We know that kids learn things from their parents marriage, which is why we should all take a minute to review this information.

Show Affection

Most parents are great about showing affection to their children, but not to their spouse. Kids need to see their parents being affectionate with one another so that they grow up comfortable with affection in their own relationships.

Go On Date Nights

When your kids see you making one another a priority, they learn something valuable. They learn that relationships should be strong. What your kids take from your marriage will be more positive if you take the time to focus on your marriage and make it a happy one.

Spend Time Together

When mom is always going out with her girlfriends and dad is always in the garage, it doesn’t look very good to kids. They will start to assume that couples don’t spend time together and that they are not important to one another. Make time to do things as a family, and show your support for one another in front of your kids.

Be Healthy

Of course you should be healthy in that you exercise and eat right, but that’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is being a healthy role model. Your kids see everything that you do. Cook together, shop together, go on vacation together. Sit together on the couch, hold hands in front of your kids, kiss, hug for no reason, and stay close. When your kids are playing a game of house with their friends, you don’t want to see them modeling negative behavior that they learned from you.


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