Now that wedding season is in full force (really, when is it not? We go to weddings every season of every year, no matter what) it is time to break out the old toast. Not breakfast from last week that may or may not have fallen in between the cushions of your couch that you were too lazy or forgetful to remove. We’re talking about the wedding toast. As the maid of honor or best man it is your job to give a little toast at the reception – emphasis on little. Here are a few rules for giving the best speech of your life.
Keep it Short
The shorter the better, in the opinions of most wedding guests; please stop with the wild and crazy stories of how you met the crazy couple, how you drank yourselves into a stupor in college, or how you love them desperately and consider them the peanut butter to your jelly. Keep it short. It can be funny or it can be sweet, but it must always, always be short.
Never Give the Mic to Anyone Else
As part of the wedding party you know who is supposed to speak, which makes it your job to keep the microphone where it needs to be. When the groom’s dad’s new wife has a little too much to drink and decides she wants to make a speech about her entrance into the family, don’t give her the mic.
Keep Your Emotions in Check
It is perfectly all right to show you emotions when you make your toast; it is a wedding after all. However, no one wants to listen to your snort your snot into the mic and cry your mascara all over the head table. Keep it in check and hand over the mic if you can’t carry on.
Keep it Classy
There’s no need to talk about either the bride or groom’s past relationships in a wedding toast. Ever. I don’t care if all you want to say is that your friend finally found a woman you all like, don’t. Say how much you like her, say how great a couple they are; do not compare either of them to an ex and do not mention past relationships.