They Don’t Care: Here Are 15 Signs People Are Just Pretending

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Have you ever poured your heart out to someone, only to suspect their concern might be surface-level? It can be frustrating to be in relationships where considerations seem one-sided. We want to show you the signs someone’s care for you might not be as genuine as it appears. Here are 15 behaviors that indicate someone is simply going through the motions in the relationship.

No Empathy

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What is love without empathy? It’s safe to say someone doesn’t care if they consistently fail to empathize with your emotions, seem indifferent, or even dismissive when you’re upset. This can leave you feeling unimportant in the relationship.

Conditional Love

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It’s disheartening when affection feels transactional. If someone only expresses love when you meet certain expectations or fulfill specific conditions—a habit that can lead to insecurity and inadequacy, which is unhealthy for you—they’re just pretending.

Inconsistent Behavior

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Someone who cares about you may not be everything you wish, but at least they won’t play with your emotions by engaging in erratic and unpredictable behavior. For example, jumping between extreme affection and cold detachment without clear reasons.

Lack of Support


One visible sign of care is support. Is there anyone who says they care about you but shows little interest or enthusiasm for your aspirations or achievements? Failing to provide the encouragement and support you need to thrive can be discouraging and demotivating. They are just pretending.

Ignoring Boundaries

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Walls protect, and when you set up yours, someone who cares knows better than to trespass. These people repeatedly disregard your boundaries, crossing lines you’ve clearly established. Their behavior can erode your sense of agency and respect, and that doesn’t look like genuine care.


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Although we should be true to ourselves, there are times when we have to compromise. Someone who doesn’t care consistently prioritizes their own needs and desires over yours. They expect you to accommodate them and don’t consider your feelings or well-being, making you feel unimportant.

Limited Communication

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You may notice that some people avoid meaningful conversations about your relationship with them or your feelings, preferring to keep things superficial and light. You may think it’s something else, but their avoidance of the deeper connection and understanding necessary for a healthy relationship may mean they don’t care.


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When people feel positive toward you, they are excited to share things with you. However, if they don’t care, they may become overly secretive regarding their activities and interactions, creating a vibe of mistrust and distance in the relationship.

No Intimacy

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What’s a relationship without intimacy—except for those exceptions, like colleagues or your boss? When someone who claims to care shows little interest in intimacy, physical and emotional, you feel disconnected and unfulfilled, and you should see that as a sign.


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A promise to someone you care about is a promise you’ll follow to the end. But those who don’t care frequently fail to follow through on their promises or commitments. You’d question their trustworthiness and dedication to the relationship.

Avoidance of Future Plans

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When someone expects to be in your life for a long time, you’ll know by how you discuss plans. Someone who isn’t invested in a future relationship wants to avoid any commitment, so they may seem hesitant or unwilling to plan for the future together.

Comparisons with Others

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Caring about you extends to your self-esteem, so don’t believe someone who compares you unfavorably to others. They highlight your perceived shortcomings or failures, undermining confidence in and out of the relationship.


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The worst sign is when they manipulate facts and events to make you doubt your memory, perception, or sanity. It will cause you to question your reality. No one who truly cares will go so low.

Feigned Interest

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Some may pretend to be interested in your interests and passions. Possibly doing this to gain something from you; when they show little genuine curiosity or engagement, which can make you feel unappreciated and misunderstood, they don’t care.

No Effort to Improve

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Relationships need to improve, and it requires efforts from both parties. Someone who is not bothered about you will show a lack of willingness or effort to address issues or improve the relationship. This lack of commitment screams one thing—they don’t care!


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