When someone tells you she and her man don’t argue she’s either lying or a complete doormat, because even the most in love, happiest couples argue from time to time. It’s perfectly healthy and completely normal to argue; it means you both have opinions and aren’t afraid to express them and it means you’re both fighting for what you want in your relationship. Now, knock-down, drag-out serious fights are not okay. I’m talking arguing; my husband and I argue regularly. It keeps things interesting. We argue every time I buy a new pair of shoes with a six inch heel because it makes him feel short when I wear them. We argue every time he hangs one of my dresses in the wrong color slot in the closet (come on, after 11 years you’d think he’d know that my dresses are color coordinated and be able to see that when he looks in the closet). Fortunately, our arguments aren’t bad, and they’re never unproductive. However, if you find that you argue a lot, there are a few things you can do to stop the arguing.
Oftentimes, couples end up repeating themselves during every argument as a way of being heard. The result is that you end up talking at each other instead of to each other. For once, stop and listen to what the other person has to say and make the change. That way, your next argument will not be a repeat of this one.
Don’t Get Personal
This one is a major, major no-no. My husband and I have watched enough couples fight in our life to know that when it happens, the gloves come off and personal words are spoken. One of the first things we decided when we started dating is that our arguments would always be productive discussions and never personal attacks; and we never regret that rule. Instead of telling him he’s a bad person for whatever reason, simply tell him how his actions have affected you negatively.
There is No Winner
Don’t argue until one of you wins. If you have an argument, come to a compromise and let it go. It isn’t about winning or losing; it’s about respect and compromise.