Ever wonder about the secret to a successful marriage? Of course you do; everyone does. I remember having that discussion with my husband 11 years ago when he proposed to me; a sort of, âI wonder how we can make sure our relationship is always as great as itâs been so far,â kind of conversation. The secret, my friends, is that marriage is work and it is commitment and it takes your time and attention. Couples whoâve been together for decades arenât just happy because theyâre happy; theyâre happy because they work hard to be happy.
Be Grateful
I once had a friend say to me, âYou have nothing to complain about. I wish my husband were more like yours,â when I was complaining that he doesnât dust the furniture the same way I dust (petty, yes). At that moment, I realized that if I wanted to stay a happily married couple, Iâd need to be grateful for all that my husband does. When you focus on being grateful for what your partner is rather than what you want him to be, youâre going to be happy for a long time. So what if he doesnât dust the same way you doâŚhe dusts without being asked, right?
Time Together is Important
This is something Iâve always thought important. Couples who stay happy forever are happy because they never stop spending time together. It never surprises me to hear about a failed marriage followed by a, âWell, itâs not really surprising. I mean, they didnât spend any time together. She was always by herself doing this or that or he was always doing this alone.â When couples spend time together, they stay happy.
You have to Show it
You can say, âI love you,â a million times a day, but after a while it always sounds a bit like a habit that you use when getting off the phone, before going to bed and before saying goodbye. However, when you use your actions to show your love, itâs a different ballgame. Couples who know that the secret to a good, happy marriage is to always find ways to show their love are just plain happy. My husband, for example, always has a few reeseâs cups hidden in the freezer for me so that when Iâm complaining about a bad day, he can pull them out. I like to surprise him by having lunch with him a few times a week. The first trimester of my current pregnancy, I was so exhausted and sick I wanted to cry. He made it a point to take over grocery shopping â with our 2 and 5-year-olds in tow â without even saying a word. Itâs the little things, really.
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