There are Things in Life You Need Your Spouse’s Permission to Do


As an independent species, we don’t like to be told that we need anyone’s permission to do anything. That’s something we outgrew with childhood. However, then comes marriage. And when you become married, you suddenly find yourself occasionally seeking permission to do something. Now, as a wife of 10 years and the parents of four small children, I can tell you that there is nothing I need ‘permission’ for in my everyday life, nor does my husband. However, there are things that, as a married couple, we agree require permission from both partners before it will happen. Not because we want to control one another or set limits on our significant others, but because we respect one another. You could even say it has far less to do with permission than it does with basic good manners. There are some things you simply do not do unless your spouse is on the same page; call it what you like, but it’s just good etiquette and basic respect. And we have a little list of things no good spouse should ever do without the consent of his or her spouse.

Get a Pet

A pet is a long term commitment that you have to make together. If you bring home a pet and your spouse is not on board with that, bad things will happen in your marriage.

Buy Something too Expensive

My husband and I have a $1000 rule. We don’t have to call and check on any purchases we make or ask “permission” to buy things we want, but we do have to check in when one single purchase exceeds $1000. Mostly because these purchases tend to be things that we use as a family or around the house, and we need to agree on them.


Unless you are surprising your spouse with a trip for you to take together, no one books travel without discussing it first. You don’t book a girls’ weekend with friends without making sure he’s okay with it, and vice versa. It’s just nice.

Make things Public

You should know from day one which topics in your life are public and which are private. For example, if you are newly pregnant and want to announce it online, you better be sure you have your spouse’s permission to do that. He or she might want to wait a little longer to share the big news, and that’s something you have to respect.

Lend Money

Never, ever lend money to anyone in your family or your circle without first speaking to your spouse. You don’t make big financial decisions like this otherwise.

Make Life Changes

Changing jobs, moving, buying a new car, buying a boat; things like this are life changing and they need to be discussed by both parties. Always.

Photo by David McNew/Getty Images


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