Marriage is a beautiful union that permanently binds two people who love each other deeply and dearly. It is all a very romantic concept, but it is also a very difficult experience that a lot of people greatly underestimate. This may probably be the reason why about half of the marriages in America end up in a divorce under 5 years. The wedding may be fun to plan and it might be cool to gain a whole new family and to start a life with someone that you love, but do not think for a second that marriage is easy and that all that it requires is love. Love is a great component, but a good, strong marriage needs a whole lot more for it to thrive and bloom and for both partners to remain happy and satisfied. Are you searching for a way to make your marriage a long and happy one? Read the list of the 20 tips that will keep your marriage healthy and happy for years and years to come.
1. Trust each other
Besides love, trust may just be the most important aspect of marriage. For two people that have decided to build a life together and to share all that they own and all they have with each other, there cannot be a marriage without trust.. What people fail to understand is that to be in a marriage, you have to surrender your entire self to your partner and this includes the big things like your money and property but also the small stuff like your time, your energy, your life goals and your dreams. The reason that marriages tend to break is that couples fail to surrender every little thing to their partner because they do not completely trust each other. Without complete trust, the marriage is headed for doom.
2. Be a friend as well:
The old saying that the best person that you can marry is your best friend is not completely unfounded. This is because the relationship that you have =with your best friend in the entire world is one that is free of any road blocks and any secrets. You are able to tell your best friend any and everything because your best friend is your person and you know that your secrets are safe with him/ her. This is the same way that you should treat your partner for your marriage to be long and successful. Marriage is the kind of union that merges two individuals into one person, so there is no room for anything but the whole truth. What people can easily tell their friends, they are unable to tell their partners and this is the cause for a lot of weaknesses in marriages. Open up to your partner and treat them like your best friend. Likewise, listen to your partner and do not provide any immediate judgment no matter what it is that they have to say. This is the way a friendship works and that is the way a marriage also works so be sure to make your partner double as your best friend.
3. Be supportive:
Everyone needs that person that will support their decisions no matter what, that person that believes in them even more than they believe in themselves. Be that person for your partner and your marriage will go on forever. We all start with parents that think the world of us and expect greatness from us because they believe that we are the greatest humans on the planets. When we leave them and get married, this support is sometimes not reflected in spouses and people tend to run back to where they can find this sort of unconditional belief; their parents. Be sure to be your spouse’s number one fan in any and everything that they do and your marriage will be long and healthy.
4. Be a team player:
To be a team player, you have to stick to the rules even when they hurt you. A married couple is a team and for any team to survive, there has to be some ground rules. Whether these rules govern that way that you spend your money, raise your kids or deal with hardships in life, be sure not to stray away from them even when you really want to. This will show your partner that you are in the marriage for the long haul and that you are ready to comply to the rules that you both set for your team. This will make them also very committed to the rules and this is the perfect recipe for a long, happy marriage. Teamwork is key.
5. Be considerate:
Sometimes, when you love a person so much you expect the most out of them. And when they are unable to perform, you turn to resentment and secret anger. This can accumulate and eventually poke its nasty head out and end in a divorce. A key to a successful marriage is to be considerate of each other. Do not expect your partner to be Superman or Wonderwoman. Do not expect them to be able to do everything it is that you expect them to. They are only human after all and are subject to natural human limitations. When you are aware of this fact, you become considerate of them and you see them in a much healthier light. Their flaws become personal traits that you enjoy and their mistakes become learning experiences. Be considerate of your partner and allow them to be human just like you are.
6. Have compassion :
In the same way that you want your partner to be compassionate towards you, you have to try to be compassionate towards him/her as well. Be concerned about the things that concerns your partner. Share in their passion about something. It is the easiest way to fall into a complete sync with them when you find the heart to care deeply about what they care about. Compassion is a truly important quality in a strong and long marriage because it shows your partner that you are willing to go out of your way to worry about things that worries them.
7. Be a good listener:
In as much as we all love to talk about ourselves and how great our lives are going, it is sometimes important to be more of a listener than a talker. This is the base material of great conversations. When you actually pay attention and listen to what your partner has to say, there is a lot that you could gain from the time that you spend talking to each other. You get to know them deeper and you get better insight on what it is that they like at every moment of their lives. Human beings are continuously changing in character so do not assume that you know someone well enough to stop listening to him/ her. Change the dynamics of conversations when you actually listen and process information being told to you instead of simply hearing and forgetting. Your partner will be glad you did.
8. Be mature:
It is the easiest thing to pick a fight over nothing and run for the hills and far away from your partner. Do not be a coward. Instead, be mature about your relationship. Maturity involves dealing with situations like an adult in a non- disruptive fashion unlike childishness where tantrums and a lot of crying is involved. Grow up and face situations head on instead of running away from them as children would. The faster a situation is dealt with, the faster it goes away and the faster you can move on with your life. The less tantrums that are thrown as well, the faster a situation rolls over. Cut out childish behavior like the silent treatment and door slamming and your marriage will take a much brighter turn for the better.
9. Be at the same level:
A lot of marriages tend to fail because both partners are not at the same level in their lives. Admit it or not, we grow up in stages and you need to be able to be at the same stage as your husband or wife to be able to live successfully together and have a healthy marriage. During the dating stage, discuss what your ideals ae about life and make sure that your opinions are out in the open and have been heard by your partner loud and clear. Do not hold anything back to spare feelings because you will end up getting hurt in the long run and a perfectly good marriage will shatter into many pieces. Don’t shy away from the hard topics like having children and financial goals and even family drama. Be upfront with all you are looking for in life and make sure that your partner understands and is in the same boat before moving forward.
10. Play the fool sometimes:
Marriage can be hard when two people are not willing to relent in a situation that is causing friction. Sometimes, give in and play the fool. It is the mature thing to do even if it does not seem like that in the moment. Your partner will recognize this sacrifice and will also fins it easier to give in and play the fool for you as well in another difficult situation. If you realize, however, that you are the one who is doing all the sacrificing, it is probably time to say goodbye and move on. A healthy happy marriage requires compromise from both parties.
11. Travel together:
It might seem trivial, but traveling with your spouse is a good way to escape reality for a short while and enjoy yourselves just as you are. Take a break from your town, city or even country because the constancy of it sometimes can cause stress in a marriage because it induces boredom. Find a few days to whisk your partner away to a beautiful, exotic location and spend some alone time in a new setting. It really helps to rejuvenate a marriage and to rekindle the love that is seemingly burning away.
12. Prolong the cupcake phase:
The cupcake phase is the beginning of a relationship where everything is nice and easy and very cute. When you start dating, there is nothing but smiles and happiness all through the beginning stages. No space for self- doubt or confusion. To make your marriage work, you have to try to prolong the cupcake phase. Make a conscious effort to do cute things that you both enjoy together and relive the early stages of your relationship. This will keep the fire burning throughout your time together.
13. Go out of your way for your partner:
When you are married to an individual you need to make sure that it is the one person in this world that you are willing to give anything for, to risk anything for, to do anything for. Occasionally go way out of your way to do something nice for your spouse that you know that they will greatly appreciate. It reminds them of the very reasons why they love you so much and it is a very good incentive to stay committed to your marriage even when times get rough.
14. Give each other some space:
Yes, you are madly in love with your partner and yes, you want to do everything with them but they need some time away from you too. Before you were married, they had this other life that did not include you at all and to shove yourself into all their other relationships with other people is a recipe for disaster. Give them some space to breathe without you so that they can better cherish the moments that they get to spend with you.
15. Allow your partner to be themselves:
When people get married, they think that they have to change into this whole other person to please their partners. But remember that they got to know you just the way that you are and they still married you. They do not expect you to change so you shouldn’t expect that they change either. Allow them to exist how they will. Allow them to play the sports that they love and watch what they want and go to places that they want and just be themselves. When they find that they can be themselves wholly in your presence, their love grows deeper and your marriage is much more likely to be stronger than ever before.
16. Communication is key:
This point cannot be stressed upon enough times. Let conversation flow easily between you and your spouse and your marriage will bloom bold and strong. At any point in time, do not hide your feelings about something from them. Your spouse is not a mind reader, he/ she will never know what you are thinking until you explicitly address it. There are a lot of ways to communicate with your spouse be it verbally, through writing, poetry, body language or a song. Find out a way that works well for both of you and do it everyday to make sure that your thoughts are well communicated.
17. Be possessive:
In as much as you have to give your partner space, you also have to be possessive of them. Too much space may indicate that you do not care enough. Sometimes, they need to see you fight for them in front of other people to validate your love for them. Don’t go crazy and hang over them like a cloud but do your best to make them know that they are loved.
18. Develop good intuition:
For a marriage to work, both partners have to be in total sync with each other. You have to be able to be so immersed in the life of your partner that you are able to predict their next move. When you have reached that level in your relationship (which you will if you keep working at it hard enough), you will be in total sync with your partner and you will be able to live in harmony because you will be fully aware of the person to whom you are married. this is one of the pillars of a strong, healthy marriage.
19.Don’t sweat the small stuff:
It’s really that simple. Sometimes, ignore the little things. Let them slide. You don’t have to be nit-picky about everything that your partner does. It may be something that really irritated you but you have to judge the situation rightly and sometimes, it is just the best idea to let go of the little things. Look at the big picture and focus on the person that you are deeply in love with not their little actions that irk you. your marriage will be better for it.
20. Be happy:
Happiness is contagious. Once you are happy and content with your life and your marriage that positive energy is sure to rub off on your partner as well. They will be happy too. and two happy people living happily together is the recipe for a long and very happy marriage.