Divorce may not be something I’m personally familiar with, having no close knowledge of how it works. I’ve lived a life in which no one I know has ever gone through one, but it seems to me I keep hearing a myriad of stories about others who are going through a difficult divorce and have no idea how to make the situation easier. I hear other moms at my daughter’s school talking about it. I hear women at church talking about it, and my husband’s assistant is currently in the process of it.
While it saddens me (though I understand completely that some marriages simply cannot be saved for various reasons and I judge no one who makes their own personal choices when it’s best for them) I thought that since it’s inevitable for some, the least I could do is find a way to research the topic and offer suggestions to make divorce less dramatic and easier on those going through it; so research I did.
Start the Process Nicely
Let’s start by saying that not all marriages can be ended with ease. There are those who’ve been betrayed and abused who simply cannot work amicably with their soon-to-be ex during divorce and that’s a different story. This information is more for those who’ve drifted apart but don’t have a hate-filled or scary relationship.
The way in which you approach the “end of marriage” conversation sets the tone for the rest of the process. The more amicable and mature you can be during this conversation, the better the situation will be all around. Set the tone correctly from the start, and if needed, consider consulting a divorce lawyer to ensure that the legal aspects are handled in a way that aligns with your intentions. Hopefully, this positive approach will continue throughout the process.
This is For You
Your divorce is for you and your current spouse. This is not your lawyer’s divorce or your sister’s divorce. Do not allow others to talk you into anything that makes you uncomfortable. The best way to ensure that your marriage ends on the best note possible is to continue to work together as a team to ensure that it does; especially if you have children. However, it is advisable to consult a divorce lawyer to guide you regarding legal matters.
Put the Kids First
Finally, you must always put your children first. Their needs are much more important than your own, which means you always put them first. The friendlier and kinder you are to and about one another, the better their relationship will be with the both of you. It also means good things for their future and your divorce.
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