20 Phrases To Never Say To Your Spouse During A Fight

There are at least 20 phrases to never say to your spouse during a fight, and a few of them are good for avoiding personal injury. In a way, this is a guidebook for men, but women need to pay attention as well.

“Jeez, it must be that time of the month, huh?”

Remember, I did say a lot of these are guides for men. This one is one that you don’t want to utter unless you want the fight to continue.

“Calm down.”

If you value your eardrums then don’t ever utter this to a woman that’s fully enraged and ready to shout. They don’t want to calm down, they want you to hear them, so listen close while you can.

“Don’t be so sensitive.”

It’s a positive trait, but it’s understandable how over-sensitivity can bother some folks. Still, learn to dial it down from 11 and just listen.

“The next time you do this, I’m done.”

Threats aren’t needed when confronting your spouse about anything. This doesn’t leave a lot of wiggle room for debate, and it turns the conversation into an emotional minefield.

Silence 

If you think you’re doing any good by not confronting your SO, you don’t have enough experience with people. Silence only allows the hurt to grow and fester.

“(Friend) looked really hot tonight.” 

Are you trying to give your SO a reason to file for divorce? Unless you’re both comfortable with this type of thing, don’t ever make this observation aloud.

“It’s just one thing after another with you.”

There’s a lot of contempt in this statement. There’s also the unfortunate shutdown of examining a person’s needs.

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

It’s true that some people do this regularly and create a very ‘cry wolf’ feeling. But listening to the initial issue they bring up could curtail this, or at least alleviate it.

“You really need to work on getting organized. Didn’t this cost you a job?”

A painful reminder of how a person failed coupled with criticism is a sure way to make your spouse realize how vindictive you are. Sure, some folks are disorganized, but it’s better to help than to inflict further harm.

“I wish you were more like (name).”

That’s a good way to crush someone by making an unfair comparison. Your spouse doesn’t need to know who you admire or why in this manner.

“I don’t have time for this.” 

Stonewalling is not a good tactic when arguing with anyone, especially your spouse. If you’re withdrawing from the discussion out of anything but necessity, you’ve lost in more ways than one.

“I can’t stand you.”

Well then…why did you hook up with them? This is a nonsensical argument that makes it clear how you feel, even if it’s deeply negative.

“That’s it, I’m done!”

If these words are spoken, hopefully they’re not, then you should follow through, since otherwise, it’s a cheap way to end an argument. Not only that, but it takes an emotional toll your spouse doesn’t deserve.

“Grow up!”

This is a character attack and one that too many people use as a failsafe. It doesn’t typically have that big of an effect unless the person hearing it is in a fragile state. But it does have an impact.

“Try not to keep me waiting this time.”

Implying that someone inconvenienced you isn’t just immature, it’s selfish. Apart from that, expecting someone to bend to your whim is, well, ridiculous.

“This is probably why your ex left you.”

How deep do people want to dig this particular wound? Bringing up an ex-relationship is never a great idea, especially if it didn’t end well.

“After what happened last time…”

This is a horrible way to start many sentences since it’s a painful reminder that this current argument isn’t the first. It won’t make this one the last either.

“Stop being so needy.”

There are indeed needy people in the world, but they typically don’t want this pointed out. Trying to help someone isn’t a negative act, and could do more damage than one thinks.

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Not only is this a personal attack, it’s an attack that shows utter contempt for whatever your spouse has said. There are ways back from this, but it’s a long and thorny path.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Issuing personal attacks on your spouse’s character isn’t a smart thing to do. It’s the refuge of the dim-witted and ignorant. It’s kind of like bringing a sack of rocks to a fistfight

“You’re crazy!”

A lot of people don’t respond well to this, and for good reason. Attacking someone’s character and mental health isn’t a great idea in any case, especially since the typical response can sunder any relationship.