10 Crucial Tips to Get Out of the Friend Zone with Him

men and women

The friend zone; it’s the worst. Some people like to say that it’s impossible for men and women to be friends unless one of them is unattractive since men cannot be friendly with attractive women without wanting them in some way. Then there are other men who disagree, saying that they aren’t animals and they are perfectly capable of having a friendly relationship with a woman in whom they are not romantically interested. But what happens when you are a woman attracted to a male friend and he doesn’t seem interested in y? You hope you’re reading the signs the wrong way and that he is interested, but you’re just not sure. Is he attracted to you and doing nothing about it because he’s not sure you’re attracted to him? Is he but he’s afraid your friendship might suffer? The question here is whether or not you’re going to be able to get out of the friend zone with this guy. As someone who’s never been in the friend zone (My husband and I are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary in May and we’ve been together for 14 years since we were 18….we met on a blind date so we were not friends first), I did some digging for you so that I can help you with the issue of being a friend who is interested in another friend, and the tips I’ve uncovered – from men and women – are pretty useful.

Understand Where You Are

The first step to getting out of the friend zone is realizing that you are, in fact, in the friend zone. You have to understand that you are there and that you have to work for it. If you’re not honest about where you stand with someone, it’s difficult for you to move on and get out of the zone.

Identify how Your Friend Sees You

You need to next look at yourself through his eyes. You’re a great friend. You’re there for him to spend time with, but you might not be someone he is capable of seeing in a different manner. For example, if he can call you on a Friday to get wings and a beer and talk about football, he’s probably not seeing you as a real woman and that’s an issue.

Think This Through Long and Hard

Before you make the decision to get out of the friend zone, ask yourself whether or not you really are into this guy or if you’re just attracted to him because you’re on the rebound or because you’re bored. You don’t want to go messing up a great friendship for something silly, do you?

Talk to Other Friends

You have other friends. Find out how they feel about this. You might get a different perspective from them that you hadn’t considered in previous thoughts. This might help you understand what is needed and what is not, and it might help you to feel a little bit more in control of the situation.

Weigh the Pros and Cons

Here’s the most important thing you have to do. This is your friend, and you have to see whether or not the pros and cons are worth it. Do you think that this is the man you will marry and spend the rest of your life with? Or do you think that he’s fun for now? You have to know if going through with this is worth leaving it alone and salvaging your friendship.

Be Honest

Talk to him. Tell him how you feel and then leave it up to him. Tell him what’s on your mind, how you feel and where you stand. Don’t have any expectations going into this conversation. Have it, let him speak if he wants to and let him leave if he wants to. Just be honest.

Take a Break

Spend some time with some other friends in the coming weeks. Now that your friend knows how you feel and where you stand, he might need a little more time to think things through. He might not see you in that light and he might even feel the need to step back and try to picture you there.

Have Some Fun

Don’t forget that this is still your life. Go out and have fun with your other friends, your family and your life. You are an amazing woman and it is imperative that you do not forget that as you go forward. Once he sees you having a good time and enjoying life, he’s going to realize he either needs to get back to your friendship or fall in love with you. But he doesn’t need you to be miserable waiting around for him.

Change Your Attitude

You might be feeling low and down now that you’ve talked to him, or you might be on cloud 9 because he reciprocated quite well. Now it’s time to change your attitude. What you need to do is change it for the better. If he’s into you, you need to change your ‘friend’ attitude for one that’s more romantic. Otherwise you’re going to find that things are a bit awkward and uncomfortable. If you’re using the wrong attitude, it might have a negative effect on how your relationship progresses.

Let Him Come to You

If he needs time, give it to him. He might need to process. Sometimes men know when a woman is into them and other times they’re blissfully unaware. This might have been something that came as a complete shock and therefore he’s just not certain in the least what it is he needs or wants from you. If he needs time, however, you need to make sure he has that time. If a month or more goes by without anything from him, you might assume he’s not into you and not man enough to say it to your face. Just move on with your life – or enjoy the fact that you are out of the friend zone and happy with him.

Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images


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