Dear Lady Without a Baby: There are so many things the rest of us – with kids – want to say to you, but for now we’ll settle for telling you that while you may think we are annoying, the feeling is very, very mutual. Just because we have a little spit up on our designer shirts and our designer stilettos have been replaced by designer ballet flats doesn’t make us any less fabulous than you. It actually makes you more annoying to us. Now, if you want to know what you’re doing that’s driving all your mommy friends nuts, read on. Then stop.
Stop the Judging
No one wants to see a mom breast feed her baby on a plane, but guess what? Sometimes you just have to. Would you rather judge a new mom for covering up and feeding her baby on a plane or listen to said baby scream for the next four hours until you reach your arrival gate? That’s what I thought.
Your Dog is Not a Child
Take it from me; I know how much dog lovers love their dogs. I also know that the second you have a baby, you will consider your dog a dog once again. It is so annoying to moms when non-moms compare their dogs to our babies. Your dogs are dogs. They are not babies. Even if we used to think the same thing; we know better now.
Don’t Ask Lame Questions
If I knew why my baby is still crying, don’t you think I’d make it stop by doing whatever it is that she needs? Of course I would, so asking my why she’s crying isn’t helping. Neither is telling me she’s hungry, or suggesting she’s in need of a new diaper the second she makes a sound.
Stop With the Last Minute Invitations
Yes, we’d love to hit up happy hour with you – in 15 minutes. However, we have kids. That means we have to find someone to watch our kids. If the husband isn’t home, we have to find someone else. There is no more of the picking up and going right this very second for us, so don’t ask.