In a recent conversation, it occurred to me that moms spend entirely too must time trying to justify their parenting decisions. It’s not because they don’t feel their decisions are right; it’s because they’re worried that the rest of us moms are going to judge them, deem them bad moms, turn our noses up. What this is, is a travesty. Moms shouldn’t have to spend a second attempting to justify any parenting decisions so long as their kids are safe, well-cared for and happy (and not living in a drug den).
Parenting is hard enough without moms having to worry that the playgroup mothers are going to judge them. Guess what? It’s not my business or your business what other moms do with their kids (let me clarify – as long as they are not harming or putting their child in harms way). Here are three of the biggest judgments we mothers use.
I’m sick of listening to parents justify why they send their kids to daycare. Why? Because they shouldn’t have to; it’s not our business. The fact is that some moms work outside the home, whether they want to or not. Some moms need a few hours each week to go to the grocery store or to the bank without wanting to pull their hair out. It doesn’t matter; parents shouldn’t have to justify this decision. It’s theirs and theirs alone.
No matter what you do, say or think no one is ever going to view this the same way. Some moms want to homeschool their kids. Some send theirs to private school. Some go to public school. Again, it’s a personal decision and no one is right or wrong about it. Let’s try not to make other moms feel like their decision is a bad one.
This one always baffles me because it just goes to show that we begin judging one another long before we’re even having parents. When, where and how a woman chooses to give birth might seem crazy to you or me, but that doesn’t give us the right to judge. I’d rather watch Dora the Explorer on repeat – loudly — for the rest of my life than give birth without an epidural, it doesn’t mean I judge you for not using one. I might secretly think you’ll end up begging for one at the last minute – and sometimes I’m right and sometimes I’m not – but how you give birth is none of my business. Let’s all agree to disagree and stop the judgment.