Five Types of Moms You Should Never Be Friends With

As a mom, I find it difficult to advise anyone to ‘unfriend’ or ‘shun’ another mother. We all have the same issues, no matter how we choose to handle them. Parenting is a road often traveled but rarely navigated precisely and there are so many stops, detours and unexpected delays encountered along the way. Moms really do need one another to help us get through this adventure we call parenthood, but sometimes you have to take a step back and evaluate the friendships that you have with other mothers and ask yourself if they are worth it to you or if they are draining you. There are some moms that just don’t make good friends for certain other moms. Life, my mommy friends, is far too short to spend time with people who suck you dry and make you feel insecure about your parenting decisions, or that make you feel as if you are constantly in the middle of a competition you didn’t know existed; so here are the five type of mom friends you should be careful for and perhaps remove from your life – it’ll make you happier all around.

My Child is Perfect Mom

All parents think their kids are perfect, but it’s not all that healthy when another mother is constantly making everything a competition and insisting that her child is perfect and yours is not. She will not allow her child to take the blame for anything and she’s always making it seem like someone else’s fault. No one needs friends that don’t take responsibility for teach their kids appropriate behavior.

The Perfect Mom

I get accused of this sometimes, and it’s because I’m just vain enough to always do my hair and makeup, I get totally paranoid and freaked out if my house or car is a mess and I try not to complain (hey…we lost a few pregnancies and we really get the concept of a blessing these days, so cut us some slack) but the people that accuse me of being perfect don’t know me very well (lesson here; don’t assume someone is perfect because they seem unfazed the few minutes a day you see them in the pickup line at school). But the mom who is perfect; you know – she doesn’t let her kids get dirty, she puts her nose up in the air about your choices and she’s a constant state of judgment because you and your kids are imperfect; she might be a good friend to keep at a distance. If she’s making you feel badly about yourself based on her actions (and not just your own shortcomings and personal feelings, in which case you need to get over that) and her words, get rid of her.

One-Upper Mom

This mom; I know two of these just off the top of my head and I’m not going to use any names, but they do share a name and that makes me think all people with this name are totally insane. Your child is student of the month, hers was twice. Your child gets an “A” on a big project and hers get an “A+” and an invitation to some award show. You bought a new Escalade, she bought the extra long Escalade. You went on vacation to Disney for a week, she took her kids to Disney for two weeks. You know her; she’s exhausting and probably a bit insecure and you either need to tell her you don’t actually care and that what she sees as important isn’t or you need to spend less time with her. No one wants a constant headache from an imaginary competition.

You’re not Doing it Right Mom

Listen; I think that the way my husband and I parent our kids is perfection most of the time. They’ve always been great sleepers, no one comes to our bed at night, they love spending the night away from home, they’re good students, they’re mostly good eaters and they’re mostly polite; we have cool kids. But that doesn’t mean that our kids are cool because we used disposable diapers or because we made them sleep in their nurseries right away or because we supplemented with formula while only breastfeeding for a few months. Your kids might be just as cool and you did the opposite. But if a mom is telling you that you’re not doing things right, making you feel poorly about your parenting decisions and all around telling you that you should do things her way, get rid of her. If you ask for her advice and she gives it, that’s one thing. But if she takes it upon herself to tell you on a regular basis that your kids might be this or that or whatever if you just stop doing it wrong, she needs to go.

The Drama Mama

Let me be honest and say that this has less to do with parenting than it does people in general, but you get my drift. Have you ever noticed that the people who have to tell you that they don’t “do” drama are usually the ones who have the most? If you really don’t do it, you don’t have to say it. So this mom, the one who is constantly in the middle of some sort of school/teacher drama, baby mama drama, work drama, child drama, pediatrician drama or whatever else; she’s probably sucking you dry, so maybe you might want to spend less time with her. If her baby daddy isn’t paying child support, you sympathize, but you don’t have to listen to her berate him in front of their kids on a regular basis, you know?

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