If you argue in front of your children, chances are, you are causing them more stress and anxiety than you realize. They don’t have the ability to discern how serious an argument is and may worry that it is very serious. It can even cause fears that their parents will get a divorce. Even if they don’t worry about a divorce, it is very upsetting for a child to see their parents out of control.
While you can’t go through life without ever having a disagreement in front of your children, do your best to keep the true arguments private. Make a joint decision not to argue in front of your children.
How can you prevent arguing in front of them? If you find that a discussion is becoming heated, take a time out to cool off and agree to discuss the issue later or when you are alone.
Have a code word between the two of you that means you will hash it out later. Wait until your children are in bed and asleep or take it outside, literally. If your children are old enough to be occupied unsupervised for a short period of time, go sit on your porch or whatever outdoor accommodations you have to deal with your argument.
Choosing not to argue in front of your children is a decision that is hard to always uphold but will offer your child the gift of feeling like they have security in their family. It is a selfless decision that puts your children before yourself.
However, if in spite of your best efforts not to argue in front of your children, you end up arguing, don’t criticize yourselves. Just be sure to discuss the situation with your child and let them know everything is alright and resolve to do better in the future.
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