You never truly know a person until you travel with them and until you see the contents of the bag they carry most – and for moms, that might be the diaper bag. It doesn’t matter what a mother looks like from the outside; you never judge a book by its cover. What matters is what’s on the inside; of her diaper bag, that is. The best Some moms will have a collection of beer bottle caps and several bottles of water that have small ‘x’ marks on them that make you wonder if they are, in fact, filled with water. Others will have nothing out of place ever. Some moms will have everything that they need in their bag and other moms will have nothing that they need. Some moms carry ugly diaper bags. Other moms carry the most stylish designer diaper bags. All moms carry diaper bags – except the mom that doesn’t, and she’s not a friend you want to make since you’ll constantly be in your diaper bag providing her kid with the essentials.
Now that you know the true measure of a mother lies inside her diaper bag, where do you stand? Read on to find out what most moms will assume about you based on the contents of your diaper bag.
The Stressed Out Mama
She’s got three shoes, none that match, one diaper and 9 onesies, no jacket but two swimsuits, four empty snack containers and a bag of unopened chips. Her bag also contains enough melted m&ms in the bottom to coat an entire chocolate bar and she has a package of wipes but they were left open and they’re completely dried out and now effective only as tissues. What? She has kids and no time, and she just tossed what she was certain she’d need in the bag when she left the house without actually checking the contents to see if she had any of those items already or if she needed additional items. She’s got no time for that.
The Just Trying to Get Through Another Day Mom
She’s got three tablets, a collection of DVDs and two travel DVD players, the entire pantry, four Starbucks coffee cup sleeves and what looks suspiciously like a flask in her diaper bag. Or her backpack, because she needs every single limb free so that she can corral her kids when they try to run into traffic walking through the parking lot and so she can distract them when they’re throwing dirt on other kids for sport. You’ll also note that instead of Desitin and band aids, she’s got prescription medication bottles likely filled with things like Xanax and other meds – for her.
The Organized and Efficient Perfectionist
This mom has a designer diaper bag fully stocked with everything. She will have drinks, snacks (all labeled), toys, extra wipes, plenty of diapers and at least three changes of clothes exchanged periodically to coordinate with growth spurts and the changing of the seasons. She has band aids, diaper cream, lotion, hand sanitizer and even scented bags for dirty clothing and diapers. She has it all, and she’s got it in order. This is me; this is my diaper bag. I am an organized perfectionist, but with four kids the diaper bag is usually the only thing that I can control, so that’s where I focus my OCD energy.
The Hot Mess
I prefer to think of this mom as the normal mom. Her bag is dirty, it’s covered in ground up crackers and pretzel sticks. She has snacks, but there’s a chance they’re so old they might do more harm than good. When she opens the bag and digs through she finds that sippy cup filled with milk she’s been missing for months. The spare clothes in the bag are two sizes too small, as are the diapers, and she never has any wipes.
The Organic Mom
You won’t find lunchables and goldfish crackers in her bag. Instead, you’ll find cloth diapers, organic onesies, not one plastic bag of any sort, a dozen assorted handmade organic snacks she can provide to her children in hopes that they don’t throw a fit when they see other kids eating processed meat from a lunchable their moms tossed last minute into a bag. You will find books made completely of recycled materials and not one electronic in sight. She might also have what looks suspiciously like a flask in her bag.
The Single Mom
She’s a lot like the perfectionist mom. She has it all in order, and all together because she has no help and if she doesn’t get her stuff together, she’s the one that suffers from it. She has what she needs because she has no one else to help her with things, so it’s all on her. But on a good note, she doesn’t show up to the park – ever – without wipes because she asked her husband to check the diaper bag to see if it needed anything just so that he could glance through, see a container of wipes (without checking to see if there were actually any in it) and proclaimed the bag perfect before leaving her wipe-less in the middle of the park.
The Cool Mom
She shows up with her designer handbag and no diaper bag, but she’s got her designer bag filled with all that she could possibly need. Her lip gloss, her electronics, a selfie-stick and a venti blonde roast in hand. Don’t let her fool you, though. She’s got diapers, changes of clothes, wipes, snacks, cups, toys and games in that over sized Louis Vuitton. I know this because this is sometimes me (when I’m out with just the big girls and not the twins). And I only call this mom cool because she looks so relaxed all diaper bag free and actually relaxed. And I only do that because it’s not until you have baby twins at home with two older girls that you really do feel cool and calm and relaxed when you’re out with just the two older kids that actually use the bathroom, wipe themselves and require very little work in the grand scheme of life.
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