I have recently read about parenting styles and the effects it can have on children. I was a little appalled to see how degraded and negative authoritarian style parenting is said to be. I grew up with an authoritarian style parent, and I felt that it was a very important aspect in my life. When I was younger, my father was very involved in the army. He went overseas to fight in Operation Desert Storm before I was born, he didn’t meet me until I was already three months old. I believe that his training and experience with the army has a lot to do with his parenting style. When I was much younger, I used to think my father was the strictest parent, and I hated it. It seemed like everyone Else’s parents were much more lenient and easy-going. I always used to be afraid to do something wrong or disobey him, which has its perks. I was always a well-behaved child because of this. When it came to asking him for something, forget it! I would go straight to my mother because I knew that she was more likely to say yes. I’m sure that all of us have used this to our advantage.
I was always aware that my father’s parenting style was authoritarian. When I read about parenting styles a ways back, it described him perfectly. When it came to doing chores and obeying him, I used to always ask, “Why?” I never got a straight answer. The most common reply was “Because I told you to!” This is a very prominent characteristic of authoritarian parenting style, if your parent had said this too you more than once, you can most likely categorize them as authoritarian. As a child I used to complain often, but my father always made sure I did what I was told.
Authoritarian style may sound cold, but I don’t intend to make it seem that way. My father always encouraged me to be open and talk to them if we had a problem, or just needed to talk. It was a different story when it came to explaining why I disobeyed or did something wrong. When I was being punished, my father seemed to cut off all emotional attachment, I could not reason with him.To him, what was wrong, was wrong and I need to be corrected for it. Over the years, I blames his parenting style on his training in the military. I met many other people whose father seemed to be the same way, and it just so happened that their father was in the military as well.
Now my father is now retired and he seems a lot more happier. He is a lot more open to hearing reasoning and thoughts; it is also easier to talk to him in terms of personal matters. And in turn, I am much more willing to hear his advice. He is usually the parent I go to when I need advice for life. Overall, authoritarian style parenting isn’t terrible. I feel like I was taught many things from the way I was parented. If fall you under the category of authoritarian parenting style, do not degrade yourself. Authoritarian style parenting teaches many skills that the other types do not.
For more reading on Authoritarian parenting style I suggest that you read: http://psychology.about.com/od/childcare/f/authoritarian-parenting.htm