10 Questions You Never Thought You’d Ask As A Parent

Parenting is an adventure full of unexpected joys, challenges, and moments that make you question everything—including your sanity. After kids? You find yourself asking questions that sound straight out of a sitcom. And here are those 10 questions you never thought you’d ask until you became a parent:

“Why Is There Peanut Butter On The Dog?”

It’s on the table, the floor, your child’s face, and somehow the dog? No one knows how it happened, but everyone is suspiciously silent. The dog looks oddly pleased, the toddler looks guilty, and you’re left wondering if this was a snack-time experiment or an elaborate art project. Did the dog willingly participate?

“Did You Just Lick The Shopping Cart?”

Germs? What are germs? Your child believes the grocery store is a buffet for their tongue, and you suddenly wish you carried disinfectant wipes everywhere. As you lunge toward them in horror, they look at you with pure confusion—what’s the big deal? Meanwhile, other shoppers either chuckle knowingly.

“Who Taught You That Word?”

It wasn’t you (was it?), and it wasn’t from Sesame Street. But your child dropped a phrase that would make a sailor blush, and now you’re investigating every adult they’ve been around. Was it the grandparents? The babysitter? That one time you stubbed your toe and thought they weren’t listening?

“Why Are Your Pants In The Freezer?”

There is no logical explanation, yet you stare at a pair of frozen jeans while your child shrugs like it’s the most normal thing ever. Did they mistake the freezer for the laundry hamper? Or is this just another installment of random things parents must accept without question?

“Did You Just Hide Broccoli In Your Sock?”

Mealtime negotiations reach new levels of creativity when your child discovers “alternative” ways to dispose of unwanted vegetables. You thought you had outsmarted them by insisting they take “just one more bite,” but little did you know, their escape plan was already in motion. The sock? It’s a perfect hiding spot.

“Why Is There Glitter Everywhere?”

You don’t own glitter. You never bought glitter. And yet, there it is, embedded in your couch, your clothes, and your soul. It’s on the carpet, shimmering ominously under the light. It’s on your child’s face, somehow even in their hair. Did they smuggle it in from preschool? The worst part—you know this isn’t temporary.

“How Did You Get Stuck In There?”

Kids can turn everyday objects into personal escape rooms inside a laundry basket or toy box. One moment, they’re playing happily; the next, they’re wedged in a spot you didn’t even think was physically possible. Now, it’s up to you to figure out the rescue mission.

“Is That A Crayon In Your Nose?”

It’s a crayon or a Lego—anything small enough to fit in their nostril. And now, you’re debating whether to handle this yourself or make an awkward ER trip. You try not to panic as you Google “how to remove foreign objects from small noses” while they proudly announce, “It’s still in there!”

“Did You Just Call 911 To Say Hi?”

One second of curiosity, one accidental button press, and now you’re apologizing to a very understanding (but slightly amused) dispatcher. Meanwhile, your child beams with pride, as if they just made a new friend, completely unaware of the mini heart attack they just gave you and your struggle for an explanation.

“Why Is There A Toothbrush In The Toilet?”

You thought you had everything under control until you found your child’s toothbrush floating in the toilet. It’s not just any toothbrush—it’s the one you just bought yesterday. Did they drop it in by accident, or is there a hidden story behind this bathroom disaster? Either way, it’s time to investigate.