Learning to Overlook the Faults in your Spouse

No one is perfect and everyone has faults (I know this is shocking information). The great thing about being imperfect and full of faults is that you’re not alone. You might think that yours are blindingly obvious, but most people are too caught up in their own faults to even notice yours. Except for couples. Couples, for some strange and weird reason, like to look for faults in one another. It’s a nasty habit that doesn’t make for a great marriage or relationship, and it sends a negative message to your children when you’re always looking for your husband/wife’s faults. Here’s how to stop.

Focus on the Good

You could spend every minute of every day obsessing over your spouse’s faults, or you could focus on his or her great qualities instead. For example, instead of focusing on the fact that he or she simply does not load the dishwasher the way you like it loaded, focus instead on the fact that he or she actually loads the dishwasher and helps out around the house so that you’re not stuck doing it all by yourself.

Focus on the Why

Instead of focusing on the fact that your husband has morphed into your mother, bossing you around and demanding you get off your feet and let him take care of everything because you’re on bed rest, focus on why he’s suddenly become your mother. You’re on bed rest. Perhaps you’re 30 weeks pregnant with twins and your doctor wants your bottom in bed all the time and your husband has developed the major fault of becoming your mom because he’s worried about your health and the health of your babies. That’s WHY these faults are present. Don’t focus on them; focus on the fact that he’s doing this for a reason.

Focus on the Long Term

Are your spouse’s faults the kind that will affect your marriage in the long run? I’ve got news for you; his habit of leaving his dirty underwear on the bathroom floor might not be glamorous or cute, but it’s not divorce-worthy and it doesn’t make him a bad dad or husband anymore than your habit of only unloading enough dishes from the dishwasher to make room for the dirty ones that need washing. Faults are present in everyone. You have a choice; you can overlook the ones that just don’t matter or you can focus on things so irrelevant and unimportant that you make yourself miserable.

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