Anger is a good emotion. It lets us know when we are feeling upset over something. Maybe someone has mistreated us or done something to cross the line with us. But losing your temper is not a good thing. It results in feeling guilt afterward as well as perhaps damaging relationships that are very important to you.
The trick is to take a moment to pause before you let go of your temper. When you feel anger start to rise, take a moment to pause. Take that time to think how you can convey what you are upset about without yelling or taking part in any other activity that you usually do when you lose your temper.
You don’t have to yell to get your point across. You can speak with a firm voice but a calm tone.
What message you send depends on who you are dealing with. If it is your children, calmly tell them the consequences that will happen if they don’t obey and then be sure to follow through. If it is an adult relationship that is very dear to you then you can state your opinion but choose to stay calm in stating that you care deeply about the person you are talking to and choose not to argue. If it is with a business associate then you should try to work the issue out yourself and if that isn’t possible, take it to your boss to have handled.
The point is, no mater the situation you always have a choice in how to handle your temper. You don’t have to lose your temper. You can choose to remain calm and still get your point across. It is a skill that you can learn over time. It is worth the time because losing your temper can hurt those you love the most.