When Friendships Don’t Work Out: How to Move On

It is not a big secret that sometimes your friendships simply don’t work out. Perhaps you have a friendship that’s headed south because you’re growing apart, or a friendship that’s been permanently damaged thanks to someone’s carelessness or lack of respect. Either way, when a friendship ends, it’s always hard on both parties. When someone who was once a close friend suddenly makes it her mission to become your enemy (and why, at this age, do people still want to behave as if they are in the 7th grade and make the use of the word enemy even necessary, I will never know).

Talk About It

As a mature woman of a respectable age, one would assume that your days of talking about other people in a negative light, gossiping and being deliberately hateful to others were over. However, that’s just not the case for some women. If you have a friend who falls into that category, try talking to her. Perhaps if you can reason with her to stop saying negative things about you to others by reminding her you don’t reciprocate, you can put an end to her vicious ways.

Ignore It

Sometimes, when the anger and jealousy and whatever else it could be are just too strong, old friends just won’t stop treating you hatefully. Unfortunately, this most often comes in the form of speaking negatively about others, including telling untruthful stories because some people simply want to feel better by making you look worse. Ignore it. People who behave in this disgustingly sad manner are not worth your time. And honestly, the people who believe them are no better. Take the high road and do what you always do when confronted with the horrible things others say; acknowledge it with a shrug and a, “That’s unfortunate she’d say those things about me as our friendship meant so much to me at one time.” Don’t return the insults or say anything negative. Remember, what others say about you speaks far more of them than it does of you.

Remain Cordial

It never bodes well to allow a negative, hateful ex-friend to bother you. For whatever reason, she feels the need to break you down so she can build herself up. Instead of allowing yourself to feel angry or hurt, remain cordial by reminding yourself that there’s obviously something horrible going on in her life that makes her feel the need to build herself up by tearing others down. Feel sorry for her, but don’t let it get to you.


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