Five Things you Never Say to a Mother Planning a C-Section


Natural childbirth or a C-Section? This is the question I was asked at least twice a day for many months after my husband and I found out last year that baby number three was actually three and four. With twins, people want to ask you right away if you’re scheduling a section. Frankly, I’d already given birth to two children in the past, both naturally (and by naturally I mean totally and completely loaded up on epidural – that stuff is amazing) and I wanted to do the same with the twins if at all possible. We knew the risks and we knew that it might not be something we could do with two. We knew that we might be able to have one naturally and the other might be a section baby. We are now official professionals when it comes to medical knowledge related to twins – it’s impossible not to become one. But even though I did not have a C-Section with the twins, I was prepared for it. I’m thankful I did not have to go through with it, but I’m also appreciative of the fact that this type of surgery can and does save many lives every day.

And that leads me to this; sometimes you just have to keep your opinion to yourself when it comes to women who are having a C-Section. There’s a bit misconception out there that women who schedule one in advance do so because they are lazy or want to be in control, or that their doctors aren’t doing their jobs. The truth is that this does happen, but there are also many mothers out there with severe health conditions that prevent them from naturally giving birth. Things happen, so try to be kind when you speak to a mother planning a C-Section. Here are a few things you might not want to say to a mom planning this surgery.

It’s not Really Birth

It is birth. If a baby comes out of your body, I don’t care if it comes out of your nose or your lady parts; it’s a baby and you created it. It’s still birth. When a baby is removed from the body of a mother, it is born. You cannot be unborn – so it’s birth.

Don’t Worry; You’re Still a Real Woman

Why? Just….why? This mom might have wanted her entire life to have kids and it might be killing her to have to go through with a section, and telling her this is not helping the situation. Yes, she’s a real woman. She’s giving birth to a child and she’s making the best possible decision for her baby possible. Suck it up.

Why Would You Choose Something so Dangerous?

There are risks with every medical procedure, yes. But sometimes the risk of the medical procedure are far less dangerous than the risks of natural childbirth. Believe it or not, not all women are capable of giving birth naturally, and they’d rather not put their lives and the lives of their babies at risk.

You’re Being Irresponsible

Perhaps; some people will schedule a C-Section for no other reason than because they want to. But it’s not always an irresponsible decision when it’s medically necessary. You don’t know, so keep this one to yourself.

Your Doctor is Lazy

Again; perhaps the doctor is lazy and doesn’t want that golf tournament interrupted that weekend by having to go deliver a baby. But that’s not always the case. Sometimes doctors just want to do what’s best for the baby and the mother and that means scheduling a C.

Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images for essie


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