Five Statements That Mean Something Completely Different to Plus-Sized Women


As a woman, I feel that confidence, a good attitude, kindness, humor and a daily habit of showering are all it takes to be beautiful. I don’t care if you’re blonde, brunette, bald, short, tall, fat, thin, purple, tan, pasty, covered in tattoos, rocking dozens of piercings or wearing braces. Why? Because I don’t notice what you look like since I’m a little more concerned with wondering if you’re noticing the fact that my post-twin birth baby hair re-growths are sticking straight up or that they’ve formed their own set of bangs in the past six months. I’m wondering if you’re noticing that I totally missed half my leg when I shaved that morning or if it’s obvious I’m past my pedicure expiration date. Look – as long as you’re not a raging you-know-what with a negative attitude (and you don’t smell), you’re gorgeous in my opinion. You get extra gorgeous bonus points if you’re funny and you laugh at my jokes. And no, I’m not a plus size woman so I’m certain I’ll get a lot of hate for this, but there are just some things that we think sound awesome to our friends, coworkers and family members that are bigger than us, but these things really just come out sounding rude. So what is it that people say to bigger women that they hear in a completely different context? Let me tell you – and no, I didn’t make this stuff up; it’s coming from real women (do I have to say plus size? I mean, we’re all women.). And listen, this is not how all women feel, but it is how some women feel. 

I Am So Envious of Your Body Confidence

What people hear: I cannot believe you have even an ounce of confidence given your size. And it doesn’t matter if ‘your’ size is a size 4 to someone’s 2 or a 12 to their 6.

You Should Workout with Me

What people hear: When you say you do zumba and yoga or walk or ride your bike, I don’t believe you because you’re not as skinny as me, so therefore you must be a big fat liar since you’re not thin. You can’t possibly workout.

I’m So Fat Today, I Just Feel Gross

What people hear: I’m a size 2 and I feel like a cow, so you really are a cow (trust me on this one because I said this once to my darling aunt and she got on my case about how much she hates hearing anyone say they feel fat that day, especially when said fatty is a person who is a size 2).

Size Doesn’t Matter as Long as You’re Healthy

What people hear: I’m a perfect size, so I’m perfect. But everyone smaller than me is unhealthy and everyone bigger than me is unhealthy. You’re all unhealthy and you should fix yourselves.

I’m Glad You’re Happy

What people hear: You have to be happy at your size, right? Because there is just no way you wouldn’t just change what you look like unless you were happy, right?

What you should say to people who are bigger than you (or smaller than you, or taller or shorter or darker or lighter or have a better tan or have whatever): You’re gorgeous and I love you (unless said person is actually ugly on the inside – then avoid them like the plague.).

Photo by Lisa Maree Williams/Getty Images


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