When Secrets Are A Good Thing In Your Marriage

I am a huge advocate of honesty, especially between a husband a wife.  But, as any wise wife or husband knows, there are times when there is something to be said for secrets in your marriage.

What I am saying is that you should never lie but there are things that are better left unsaid… secrets, if you will.  What are those things that should be kept as personal secrets?  Things that would bring no benefit to sharing and would often hurt the other individual.

Things that should be left unsaid include your personal feelings about your mother-in-law, your husband’s first cousin or any family member.  Unless you need your husband to confront a family member on your behalf or to stand by you when you do, what good can come of complaining to him?  You are better off to share secrets such as these with a good girlfriend who can help you brainstorm for possible solutions.

Other secrets better left untold include the price you pay for things.  Most husbands  do not shop enough to be familiar with the price of clothing, housewares or even groceries. Therefore, telling him you got your rug at half price, therefore only paying a hundred dollars, will not thrill him.  This is another thing better left to discuss with a girlfriend that can share your love of bargain hunting.

When your taste and his differs, that can easily fall into the best kept secrets department.  If it doesn’t affect you, let it go.  I am talking about his taste in music, tennis shoe brands or personal preferences.  Let him be himself.  When should you speak up?  You should speak up in situations where his personal preferences and yours overlap, such as what restaurant to eat at.

Another instance of secrets being a good thing in your marriage are details about past relationships.  I agree you should share your basic experiences in the past but there is no need to go into every detail.  He doesn’t want to hear it.  This is one of the secrets he would thank you for keeping.

Some things are just better left unsaid.



Leave a Reply