Do These 7 Things on a First Date—and You Might Not Get a Second

First dates can be exciting but also nerve-wracking. You want to make a good impression and see if there’s a connection worth exploring. However, certain behaviors can quickly turn excitement into disappointment, leaving your date uninterested in meeting again. Knowing what to avoid is just as important as knowing what to do right, so let’s explore the common mistakes that could cost you a second chance.

1. Talking Only About Yourself

Nobody enjoys a one-sided conversation where they feel like an audience member instead of a participant. When you dominate the entire date with stories about your job, your hobbies, and your achievements, you send a clear message that you’re not interested in learning about the other person.

A good conversation flows back and forth like a tennis match. Ask questions, listen actively, and show genuine curiosity about your date’s life. Balance is key—share enough to be interesting, but leave plenty of room for them to contribute.

Remember, your date agreed to meet you because they wanted to get to know you, but they also want you to know them.

2. Checking Your Phone Constantly

Your phone buzzing with notifications can wait. Constantly checking texts, scrolling through social media, or answering calls during a date shows a serious lack of respect and interest. Your date will feel like they’re competing with a screen for your attention, and they’ll lose every time.

Put your phone on silent and keep it in your pocket or bag. If you’re expecting an urgent call, mention it at the beginning so your date understands. Otherwise, focus entirely on the person sitting across from you.

Being fully present demonstrates maturity and genuine interest, two qualities everyone finds attractive.

3. Being Rude to Service Staff

How you treat waiters, bartenders, or any service workers reveals your true character. Snapping fingers, making condescending comments, or being impatient with staff are massive red flags that will make your date uncomfortable and question your values.

Kindness and respect should extend to everyone, not just the person you’re trying to impress. Most people notice how you interact with others and use it as a measure of who you really are when nobody’s watching.

Treating service staff with courtesy shows emotional intelligence and basic human decency—qualities that matter far more than fancy conversation.

4. Complaining Nonstop

Everyone has bad days and frustrations, but a first date isn’t the time to unleash all your grievances. Constantly complaining about your ex, your boss, your family, or your life circumstances creates a negative atmosphere that nobody wants to be around.

Negativity is exhausting and unattractive. Your date wants to enjoy themselves, not serve as your therapist or emotional dumping ground. Keep the mood light and focus on positive topics that allow both of you to relax and have fun.

Save the deeper, heavier conversations for when you’ve built trust and established a real connection over time.

5. Getting Too Personal Too Fast

Boundaries matter, especially when you’re just getting to know someone. Asking invasive questions about past relationships, finances, or intimate details can make your date feel uncomfortable and pressured. Oversharing about your own personal issues too quickly creates awkwardness.

Building connection takes time and shouldn’t be rushed. Start with lighter topics and let the conversation naturally progress as you both feel more comfortable. Respect cues that suggest your date isn’t ready to discuss certain subjects yet.

Trust develops gradually, and pushing too hard too soon will likely push your date away instead of bringing them closer.

6. Showing Up Late Without Explanation

Being on time is a simple way to show respect. When you show up late without a heads-up or a solid reason, it kind of sends the message that their time—and the date—isn’t that important to you. Not the best first impression.

Life happens, and sometimes delays are unavoidable. The difference is communication—sending a quick text to explain you’re running behind shows consideration and responsibility. Without that courtesy, you just seem careless or disorganized.

First impressions stick, and starting off by making someone wait is rarely forgiven, especially when there are plenty of punctual people out there.

7. Drinking Too Much Alcohol

Having a drink or two can help calm nerves, but getting drunk on a first date is a surefire way to ruin any chance of a second one. Excessive drinking impairs judgment, loosens inhibitions too much, and often leads to embarrassing behavior you’ll regret later.

Your date wants to meet the real you, not a sloppy version who can’t hold a conversation or remember what happened. Overindulging suggests poor self-control and makes the other person feel unsafe or uncomfortable continuing the evening.

Keep it classy and moderate so you can actually remember the date and leave a positive, respectful impression worth building on.