Chloe Peterson
Love should feel real, warm, and honest. But sometimes, the person you care about might not feel the same way, even if they say they do.
Recognizing when someone is faking their feelings can save you from heartache and help you find a relationship that truly makes you happy. Here are nine warning signs that his love might not be as genuine as you thought.
1. He Never Makes Time for You
Someone who truly loves you will prioritize spending time together. When he constantly cancels plans or always seems too busy for you, it shows where his priorities really lie. Real relationships require effort and time investment from both people.
Notice how often he makes excuses to avoid hanging out. If weeks go by without seeing each other, or he only reaches out when it’s convenient for him, that’s a major warning sign. Love means wanting to be around someone, not treating them like an afterthought.
Pay attention to whether he makes time for other activities but never for you. Actions speak louder than words every single time.
2. His Words and Actions Don’t Match
Words are easy to say, but actions reveal the truth. He might tell you he loves you or promises to do things, but then never follows through. This disconnect between what he says and what he does is a classic sign of pretend love.
When someone genuinely cares, they back up their words with consistent behavior. If he’s always making promises he doesn’t keep, or says sweet things but treats you poorly, believe his actions instead. Empty promises mean nothing without the effort to match them.
Track patterns over time rather than isolated incidents. Consistency matters more than occasional grand gestures that lead nowhere.
3. He Hides You from His Life
Being kept secret from his friends, family, and social media feels terrible for good reason. When someone truly loves you, they want to share their life with you and introduce you to the people who matter to them. Secrecy suggests shame or that he’s keeping his options open.
Ask yourself if you’ve met anyone important in his life after months of dating. Does he avoid posting pictures with you or change the subject when you mention meeting his family? These behaviors indicate he’s not serious about the relationship.
Everyone deserves to be shown off proudly, not hidden away like a secret.
4. He Only Shows Affection When He Wants Something
Affection shouldn’t come with strings attached or appear only when it benefits him. If he suddenly becomes loving right before asking for money, favors, or physical intimacy, he’s using affection as a manipulation tool. Genuine love is given freely without expecting anything in return.
Watch for patterns where his sweetness disappears once he gets what he wants. Does he ignore you most of the time but become charming when he needs something? This transactional approach to affection proves his feelings aren’t real.
True partners show consistent care regardless of what they might gain from it at any moment.
5. He Criticizes You Constantly
If love feels like walking on eggshells, it’s not love—it’s fear wearing a sweet face. The right partner doesn’t rewrite you; they read you with care. They don’t demand you change; they cheer for your growth.
Constructive feedback differs greatly from constant negativity. If you feel worse about yourself since being with him, that’s a serious problem. Real love makes you feel valued and appreciated, not inadequate or wrong.
Healthy relationships involve mutual respect and kindness, not endless criticism that destroys your confidence and self-worth over time.
6. He Refuses to Discuss the Future
Avoiding conversations about where the relationship is heading signals he’s not committed. When you bring up future plans, does he change the subject, get defensive, or give vague non-answers? Someone who loves you wants to plan a future together and feels excited about it.
Commitment-phobes who are just pretending will keep everything casual and undefined. They avoid labels, won’t discuss moving in together, and get uncomfortable when you mention long-term possibilities. This behavior shows he’s not invested in staying.
You deserve someone who sees you in their tomorrow, not just their tonight.
7. He Shows No Interest in Your Life
If he never asks about your life or feelings, that’s a red flag. Love isn’t just about saying “I care”—it’s about showing it through curiosity. A true partner asks questions, listens closely, and remembers what’s important to you.
Does he forget important events or things you’ve told him repeatedly? Does he seem bored when you talk about your life? These behaviors reveal emotional disconnection. Someone who loves you treats your experiences and feelings as important and worth their attention.
Relationships require two people who care about each other’s inner worlds, not just one person talking.
8. He Flirts with Other People
Respect for your relationship means appropriate boundaries with others. When he openly flirts with other people in front of you or secretly on social media, he’s showing disrespect and lack of commitment. This behavior indicates he’s shopping around or keeping backup options available.
Some people claim flirting is harmless, but it crosses lines when it makes you uncomfortable or happens constantly. Trust your instincts when something feels wrong. A partner who truly values you won’t risk hurting you for attention from others.
Loyalty matters, and someone who loves you won’t make you question their faithfulness regularly through inappropriate behavior.
9. He Makes You Feel Guilty for Having Needs
Having emotional needs doesn’t make you needy or demanding. When he makes you feel bad for wanting communication, quality time, or emotional support, he’s manipulating you. Healthy partners recognize that relationships involve meeting each other’s needs, not just one person’s.
Does he call you clingy when you want attention or dramatic when you express feelings? This tactic makes you doubt yourself and ask for less. Real love welcomes your needs and works to meet them, not punish you for having them.
You deserve someone who treats your feelings as valid and important, not burdensome or inconvenient to deal with.
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