13 Common Phrases People Use When They’re Being Two-Faced

13 Common Phrases People Use When They’re Being Two-Faced

We’ve all met people who say one thing to your face and something completely different behind your back. These two-faced individuals often use specific phrases that sound nice on the surface but hide their true feelings. Learning to spot these verbal red flags can help you identify who’s being genuine and who’s putting on an act. Here are 13 common phrases that might signal someone isn’t being entirely honest with you.

1. “No offense, but…”

Someone who starts a sentence with “no offense” is usually about to say something offensive. This phrase serves as a shield, allowing the speaker to deliver criticism or insults while pretending to be considerate of your feelings.

Pay attention to what follows these three words. Genuine friends offer constructive feedback without needing this protective buffer. Two-faced people use it to disguise their true intentions, making you feel like you shouldn’t be hurt by whatever follows.

Next time you hear this phrase, ask yourself why the person feels the need to cushion their words. Real friends communicate honestly without these manipulative language tactics.

2. “I’m just being honest”

Honesty doesn’t require announcement. When someone repeatedly labels their comments as “just being honest,” they’re often using truth as a weapon rather than a tool for genuine communication.

This phrase frequently follows unnecessarily harsh or cruel statements. The speaker shifts responsibility for any hurt feelings onto you for not being able to handle their “honesty.” True honesty comes with compassion and appropriate timing.

Authentic people understand the difference between destructive bluntness and constructive truth-telling. They don’t need to hide behind the shield of claimed honesty to justify hurtful behavior.

3. “Trust me on this one”

The most reliable people rarely ask for trust—they demonstrate it. Repeatedly hearing “trust me on this” can be a red flag, suggesting a desire to bypass your healthy skepticism.

Two-faced individuals use this phrase to create false confidence when they’re actually steering you toward choices that benefit them. They’re essentially saying: don’t question me, don’t verify, just follow my lead blindly.

Genuine trust develops naturally through consistent actions over time, not through verbal demands. Be wary of those who repeatedly ask for your trust rather than earning it through reliable behavior and transparent motives.

4. “I heard from someone that…”

Gossip wrapped in anonymity is a classic two-faced tactic. The phrase “I heard from someone that…” allows people to spread rumors or criticisms without taking responsibility for the information.

This vague attribution makes the statement impossible to verify or challenge. The speaker positions themselves as merely a messenger rather than the source, creating plausible deniability if confronted later.

Authentic communicators either name their sources or avoid passing along unverified information altogether. They take responsibility for their words rather than hiding behind unnamed “someones” when sharing potentially damaging information about others.

5. “I’m not trying to be mean, but…”

Similar to its cousin “no offense,” this phrase signals the speaker is about to say something unkind while attempting to avoid accountability. The contradiction is obvious – if you need to clarify you’re not being mean, you probably are.

Two-faced people use this preface to soften the blow of deliberately hurtful comments. They want the satisfaction of delivering the criticism without facing consequences for their meanness.

Straightforward communicators don’t need these verbal escape hatches. They can express concerns or disagreements respectfully without resorting to meanness that requires a disclaimer.

6. “Between you and me…”

When someone starts a sentence with “between you and me,” be cautious – this information rarely stays private. Two-faced individuals use this phrase to create false intimacy while sharing gossip they’ll likely repeat to others.

This tactic makes you feel special and trusted with “exclusive” information. In reality, the speaker is probably telling multiple people the same “secret,” creating separate alliances through shared confidences.

Genuinely trustworthy people don’t need to repeatedly emphasize the private nature of their conversations. Their discretion speaks for itself through consistent actions rather than verbal promises of confidentiality.

7. “I’m happy for you, really”

Genuine happiness for others doesn’t need the “really” qualifier. When someone adds this unnecessary emphasis, they might be trying to convince themselves as much as you that they’re not envious of your success.

The word “really” often reveals the opposite of what’s being said. It suggests the speaker feels compelled to reinforce their statement because their true feelings contradict their words. Their tone and body language might tell a different story than their carefully chosen words.

Sincerely supportive people express joy for your achievements without these verbal qualifiers. Their genuine enthusiasm comes through naturally without needing extra emphasis.

8. “With all due respect…”

Despite its polite packaging, “with all due respect” often precedes statements that show very little respect at all. This phrase serves as social camouflage for disagreement or criticism that would otherwise seem too harsh or inappropriate.

Two-faced communicators use this expression to maintain a veneer of professionalism while delivering messages that undermine or challenge you. They’re attempting to soften the blow while still landing the punch.

Watch for the disconnect between the respectful introduction and the actual content that follows. Truly respectful people demonstrate their regard through consistently considerate communication, not through formulaic phrases that precede disrespectful remarks.

9. “I’ll definitely call you soon”

Empty promises reveal two-faced tendencies. When someone emphasizes they’ll “definitely” call but has no real intention of following through, they’re choosing temporary comfort over honesty.

This phrase often appears at the end of social interactions when someone wants to end the conversation pleasantly without committing to future contact. The added “definitely” serves as false emphasis, attempting to mask the insincerity of the promise.

Straightforward people avoid making specific commitments they don’t plan to keep. They might say “It was nice seeing you” instead of creating false expectations about future communication they have no intention of fulfilling.

10. “Don’t take this the wrong way…”

This phrase shifts responsibility for potential offense from the speaker to the listener. By saying “don’t take this the wrong way,” they’re preemptively blaming you for any negative reaction to their upcoming statement.

Two-faced people use this tactic to deliver criticism or insults while maintaining plausible deniability. If you get upset, they can claim you “took it the wrong way” despite their warning, rather than acknowledging their comment was inherently hurtful.

Genuine communicators take responsibility for how their message might be received. They phrase difficult truths carefully rather than placing the burden of proper interpretation entirely on the listener.

11. “I was just joking”

“I was just joking” is often the go-to excuse for someone who said something hurtful and didn’t expect to be called out. It’s not humor—it’s damage control.

Rather than apologizing for causing hurt, they reframe their comment as humor that you simply failed to appreciate. This allows them to express their true negative feelings while maintaining deniability about their intentions.

Genuine jokes don’t leave people feeling insulted or attacked. Kind-hearted humor builds connections rather than creating hurt feelings that require explanations. When someone consistently needs to explain away their “jokes,” they’re likely being two-faced.

12. “I’m not like other people who…”

Self-promotion through comparison is a red flag. When someone emphasizes how they’re “not like other people who gossip/lie/cheat,” they’re often guilty of exactly those behaviors.

This phrase attempts to establish trust through contrast rather than through demonstrated reliability. The speaker wants credit for not being negative without actually proving their positive qualities through consistent actions.

Truly trustworthy individuals let their behavior speak for itself. They don’t need to explicitly compare themselves favorably to others or announce their virtues. Their consistency and integrity become evident over time without verbal advertisements.

13. “I only want what’s best for you”

This seemingly supportive statement often masks controlling behavior. When someone repeatedly claims they “only want what’s best for you” while pushing their own agenda, they’re being two-faced about their true motivations.

The phrase attempts to position the speaker as selflessly concerned with your welfare. In reality, they may be manipulating you toward choices that primarily benefit them or align with their vision rather than your authentic desires.

People who genuinely want what’s best for you support your autonomy and listen to your preferences. They don’t need to repeatedly declare their good intentions because their supportive actions consistently demonstrate their genuine concern.