10 Things Confident People Never Skip on a First Date, According to Science

10 Things Confident People Never Skip on a First Date, According to Science

First dates can feel nerve-wracking, but confident people approach them with a clear game plan backed by research. Science shows that certain behaviors and habits can make or break that crucial first impression. Understanding what works—and what doesn’t—can help you show up as your best, most authentic self while increasing your chances of a genuine connection.

1. Making Eye Contact

Research confirms that maintaining eye contact builds trust and shows genuine interest. When you look someone in the eyes, your brain releases oxytocin, often called the bonding hormone. This creates an instant sense of connection that words alone cannot achieve.

Confident daters understand this science and use it to their advantage. They balance steady eye contact without staring, making their date feel valued and heard. Avoiding someone’s gaze sends signals of disinterest or nervousness, which can kill the mood quickly.

Practice this skill before your date if it feels uncomfortable. The payoff is worth it—your date will remember how you made them feel seen and important.

2. Asking Open-Ended Questions

Want better conversations? Studies show open-ended questions are the key. Confident people don’t ask if you like your job—they ask what drives you. That one thoughtful question can turn a surface-level chat into something memorable.

Brain scans show that when people share stories about themselves, pleasure centers light up. You’re literally making your date’s brain happy by encouraging them to open up. This technique also takes pressure off you to fill every silence.

Prepare a mental list of thoughtful questions beforehand. Your date will appreciate your curiosity and leave feeling truly understood, which is exactly what first dates should accomplish.

3. Dressing Appropriately

What you wear shapes how you’re seen—and how you feel. Confident daters pick outfits that suit the setting and still reflect who they are. Showing up overdressed to a laid-back café or underdressed at a nice restaurant can throw off the vibe.

Your appearance communicates respect for your date and the occasion. When you feel good in your clothes, your body language naturally becomes more open and relaxed. This creates a positive feedback loop that boosts your overall confidence throughout the evening.

Plan your outfit the night before to avoid last-minute panic. Choose something comfortable that makes you feel attractive without trying too hard to impress.

4. Putting Their Phone Away

Just having a phone on the table can quietly pull attention away from the moment. Even if it’s face down, it’s a silent reminder of everything but the person in front of you. Confident people know the power of presence—and they keep their phones out of sight.

Full attention has become rare in our hyper-connected world, making it even more valuable. When you give someone your undivided focus, they feel special and prioritized. This simple act sets you apart from countless other dates who can’t resist checking their screens.

Silence notifications before you arrive and commit to staying present. Your date will notice and appreciate this respectful gesture more than you realize.

5. Showing Up On Time

Showing up on time says more than “I’m here”—it says you respect the other person and value their time. In dating, punctuality sets a strong first impression, while constantly running late can quietly raise questions about your reliability.

Confident individuals plan their route, account for traffic, and arrive with a few minutes to spare. This eliminates rushed energy and allows them to enter the date feeling calm and collected. Being late creates stress for both people and starts things off on the wrong foot.

Set reminders and leave earlier than you think necessary. If you do arrive first, use those moments to settle your nerves and mentally prepare for a great evening.

6. Listening More Than Talking

Nothing makes someone feel more seen than being truly heard. Instead of steering every topic back to themselves, confident people stay curious. They listen closely, respond with interest, and let the other person shine.

The 60-40 rule works well: aim for your date to talk about 60 percent of the time while you contribute 40 percent. This balance prevents interrogation vibes while ensuring both people feel heard. Active listening also helps you gather important information about compatibility.

Practice pausing before responding to give space for additional thoughts. Your date will feel comfortable sharing more when silence doesn’t make you anxious.

7. Keeping Body Language Open

Even without speaking, your posture can do the talking. Confident people avoid defensive gestures and instead sit relaxed, open, and facing their date—quietly showing they’re tuned in and fully there.

Mirror neurons in our brains cause us to unconsciously mimic the body language of people we’re with. When you project openness and relaxation, your date’s body naturally responds in kind. This creates a comfortable atmosphere where both people can be themselves.

Check in with your posture throughout the evening. Small adjustments like uncrossing your arms or turning your shoulders toward your date make surprisingly big differences in connection.

8. Being Authentic

There’s nothing more attractive than someone being unapologetically themselves. Confident people skip the performance—they’re honest about what they like, open about who they are, and unafraid to show up as their true selves.

Pretending to be someone you’re not creates exhausting pressure and sets up false expectations. Even if the deception works initially, maintaining that facade becomes impossible over time. Authentic people attract partners who appreciate them for who they truly are.

Share a genuine story or admit when you don’t know something. Vulnerability and honesty create deeper bonds than any performance of perfection ever could.

9. Offering to Split the Bill

When it comes to paying, confident people don’t assume—it’s not about gender roles or expectations. They simply offer to split the bill or reach for their wallet, showing they’re thoughtful and self-sufficient.

This gesture communicates equality and respect regardless of who ultimately pays. Even if your date insists on covering everything, your offer shows you don’t take generosity for granted. It also removes potential resentment or unspoken expectations about future dates.

Have this conversation naturally when the check arrives. A simple phrase like asking how they’d like to handle it keeps things comfortable and mature for both people.

10. Planning a Follow-Up

No need for the “waiting game” when you’re confident. If the connection’s there, they speak up—dropping a plan for next time or sending a message the next day to keep the momentum alive and genuine.

Clear communication eliminates anxiety and confusion for both people. Your date doesn’t have to wonder if you had a good time or wait nervously for days to hear from you. This straightforward approach respects everyone’s time and emotional energy.

Before leaving, say something like mentioning you’d enjoy seeing them again if the feeling is mutual. Confidence means being honest about your interest without fear of rejection.