10 Things We Wish We Could Say to Our Friend’s Bratty Kid

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It’s an awkward situation when you just don’t like the child of a friend. I mean, really awkward. Your dislike of their little brat (presumably and allegedly) could really derail that friendship you cherish so much, but you can’t just look at your friend and say, “Get it together,” without hurting feelings. For one, the way in which they choose to raise their child is not your business. Secondly, it might not actually be their own fault their kid is evil. Take, for example, a child I know. Her parents are divorced, and she is rotten. One parent knows this and does everything she can to try and rectify the damage done by the other parent, but it’s just too late. The parent knows this, the other parent doesn’t care in the least. That means this kid is a brat and her parent apologizes in advance when she brings this child to anyone’s house…she knows that the kids and the adults are not particular fond her.

And while some of you might be thinking that this seems a bit harsh, allow me to tell you that this is a child who has forced my toddler to lick a cat or else she would “never see her family alive ever again,” and things even meaner than that. She’s bossy, rude, and all the kids dislike her and want her to stay away. Or how about another kid we know whose grandparents bring him around since his parents are pretty much absent, and they allow him to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants and he never gets in trouble for any of it, and it drives everyone else nuts? Sometimes people just don’t get along with kids and it’s okay. And sometimes we just want to say things to them that make us feel better.

Where are your manners?

It’s tempting because it’s not that rude, but you still cannot say things like this to a kid of that belongs to a friend of yours. Maybe when you are babysitting and said child is misbehaving you can use this as a way of reinforcing good behavior, but you know you want to say it in a way that’s not positively reinforcing anything but really legitimately asking where the heck this kids’ manners are.

Why do you act like such an animal?

Well, why do some kids act like such animals? But you can’t say it; it’s not all that nice. And if we’re being truthful here, we know we want to say this with a few colorful adjectives peppered in for good measure. And that’s really not nice.

Why are your parents not disciplining you?

It’s never okay to ask a child why his or her parents are not doing their job to your standards, but it is tempting. It’s like saying, “I love your parents, but they really do suck when it comes to handling the obnoxious situation that is you,” and I hate you all for it.

I never want to see you again

It’s true, but it’s not nice. If you’re really close with your friend, you could probably say this to them, but not the kid. I can say this to my friend that has the awful kid. In fact, I can say anything to her since she’s my aunt and she knows, but still; not to a kid.

I am so glad you are not my kid

Truth be told, I’m so glad that most other kids are not my kids. But then again, they’d not act like that if they were my kids. So there’s that. But you still cannot say this to another child. You can mutter it so that they cannot hear you. It might make you feel better.

Your siblings can come over, but you need to stay home

I have wanted to say this on so many occasions it’s not even funny, but I can’t. I have a friend who has a couple of kids that come over to play and one is such a pain that I really cannot stand having this kid here. The other kids in the family, however, are just fine and dandy in my opinion.

If you get anymore chocolate on my white carpet, you’ll have to stay outside

It’s true. There is one child in particular that I would prefer stays outside when eating since said child cannot sit still and said child’s parents do not perform any sort of discipline when it comes to said child’s affinity for wanting to eat food on our carpet rather than in the dining room on the tile. It’s so bad that we have to plan colorless meals when they are over just to relax a bit.

Thank God you are not my child

Again, you might want to say this over and over again, but save it for an actual conversation with God. He’s going to get it and understand it, and it’s not going to make you look like a raging you-know-what since you’re not actually saying it to a child who does need self-esteeming building and encouragement.

Stop being such a jerk

Wouldn’t that be a fun one? I bet that would stop a child cold in his or her tracks and I bet it would change an attitude in a second, but that doesn’t mean you can say it. It’s not nice. Mostly because calling people a jerk is not considered appropriate, and it’s considered even less appropriate when it’s a child. So keep that one to yourself.

I cannot stand you

This is one of my favorites, and it’s hard not to utter this one out loud. I like to mutter this one under my breath where the kid can’t hear me but I can pretend he or she did. It always makes me feel better in a petty and very immature manner. But some kids are just that annoying that you cannot help yourself when it comes to this stuff.

Photo by John Moore/Getty Images

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