10 Superpowers You Develop as a Mom

Being a superhero is hard work, but I’ve been doing it for 7 years now. I don’t see myself as a superhero, of course, but my husband certainly does. I cannot tell you how often I’ll get a text from him in the middle of the day telling me that he is in awe of me, or how often he looks at me as I talk down a crazed serial killer (4-year-old, whatever, same thing sometimes) from whatever monumental fit is being thrown and says to me, “You are superwoman. I don’t know how you do it.” I have four kids between the ages of a year-and-a-half and 7, and that’s made me a superhero.

See, I do a lot. I have a full-time job and I work from home, which means I spend the vast majority of my time wrangling four kids and trying to figure out how to get any work done. My house stays clean because I’m a neat freak, my kids are well dressed and adorable, and I make sure I have time every single morning to straighten my hair and put on my makeup and get dressed in something that makes me feel pretty. I work with the kids eat, sleep and manage to occupy themselves for a few moments. There is something cooking or waiting to be cooked when my husband gets home, the house is spotless, homework is done and the kids are having fun. We have cheerleading most every night of the week, an active social life and we are just busy nonstop.

Just last week, in fact, my husband told me that he would never be able to do all that I do. He told me this after I went to Lowe’s for him to pick up the backsplash for our new kitchen. I had one hour before I had to pick the big girls up from school. I had my 17-month-old twins, and it began down pouring on us as we parked at the store. I parked, turned the car off and reached into the back to unbuckle both babies from their car seats. I grabbed my umbrella and my oversized handbag and both babies. Carter in one arm with the umbrella and Charlotte in the other with my handbag, and also a fistful of my maxi dress (because who wants to run through the pouring rain in a soaking wet parking lot wearing a white dress that reaches the ground) and I got out of the car, opened the umbrella with half a hand and walked to the store. The babies were dry as can be, and aside from my feet, so was I.

I did the same thing on the way out – with the backsplash. See, I’m a mother; and that means I can do anything. And no, I’m not ashamed to admit that I have superpowers and that I can do things that I maybe never thought I could do. I didn’t know how I would survive twins and two older kids until they arrived and I had no other choice – and that goes for all moms. Now that I am one, I can do anything. I have superhuman strength and powers that I’m not afraid to talk about, show off and appreciate. Without them, I’d not be able to parent – and I bet other moms have the same amazing powers.

I can see without my eyes

I know who did it, what it was and where it happened without even looking. Every single time; it’s a mommy superpower. If I hear glass shatter from my office, I know exactly which room it’s in, who did it and what the breaking object was without even looking.

I hear everything

Every single thing; I hear it. I hear the cough, the wheezing in a statement, the small hiccup from the backseat of my large SUV even with the television turned up and blaring “Frozen” at a decibel that should be illegal. I hear it all. I hear the plotting and the tongues sticking out and the eyes rolling. I hear it all.

I can carry two babies and all our belongings at once

I can. I can pick up a baby with a baby already in one arm from the ground without an effort. I can carry two babies and cups up the stairs. I can pick one baby up from inside her crib and then walk around and pick up the other baby from inside his crib without putting the other baby down with only one arm and carry them and their cups downstairs in less than 30 seconds.

I can get four kids in and out of the car into their stroller before most people can get themselves out of the car

It’s an art, and a science. I can get the kids unbuckled and rebuckled into their strollers without hesitation and have all four kids loaded into my car with their school stuff in hand and the stroller stored in the trunk and everything in its place in less than one minute flat. I can do it every single time.

I can get five people dressed and out the door (hair, clothes and shoes) in less than 30 minutes

It’s a mom thing; you learn very quickly that you can do things like this if you only plan ahead and have everything ready. It’s an art, but it’s a good one to learn. It makes life a lot simpler.

I can clean up my house in less than 30 seconds

In all seriousness, I’m a neat freak so there’s not much to clean up. However, I can pick up every toy and sweep all the food the kids threw off their high chairs between seeing my husband’s car turn onto our street and him pulling into the garage. I can do it, and I always do it. Why? Not to impress him or make him happy; to remind him daily that I am superwoman because it keeps him wanting to make me happy when I’m not around (like always making sure the house is spotless when I go somewhere without the kids).

I can find anything

If it’s in this house, I can find it. I also know what ‘it’ is without even being told. When a child says, “Where is my toy?” I know exactly which toy my child is referring to without a description and where to locate it in less than 5 seconds flat. I have no idea, but I just have this power.

I can shut down a fight with narrowed eyes

When the kids are fighting, my husband can reason with them, discipline them and try to reason with them again to no avail. I can walk into the room, narrow my eyes and have everyone calm and apologizing to one another in less than a second.

I’m not afraid of anything

There was a time in my life when I was afraid to kill a spider or when someone being rude to me would make me nervous. Now I will kill anything in no time at all before my kids have time to scream and wake the babies and if someone is rude to me or my kids, I’ll handle it in a second without worrying about being polite or appropriate in the least. Nothing scares me now that I have kids that need me to be fearless for them.

I don’t care what you think

It’s a gift. I spent most of my life always caring at least a little what other people thought. Now I don’t; I don’t want to model that kind of behavior for my kids, and I honestly just no longer care. Want to know why? Because I’m happy with me, I’m happy in my life and what you think about me is none of my business, because it’s not going to change my opinion of me in the least.

I’m awesome. I’m a mother. I’m a kick-butt kind of woman with great shoes and cool kids and the ability to get it done, whatever it might be.

Photo by Getty Images