Living with curly hair is something most women with straight hair wish they could do, but those with naturally curly hair have life problems. Curly hair, while gorgeous, is a lot of work. Those with straight hair always think the same thing, but it’s different. Curly hair is somehow always more difficult to manage, crazier and much more difficult to live with. It doesn’t matter what you do to curly hair, it’s never going to be exactly what you want it to be, even if everyone else loves your style. Living with curly hair is nothing short of a love/hate relationship. And people with curly hair are tired of hearing these phrases.
I’m So Glad I’m Not You
We are, too. Why people feel the need to point out they’re glad they’re not you when they realize you have something they don’t is beyond me (or anyone with brains, for that matter). Most people are glad they aren’t someone else. Most people like being themselves. Most people don’t want you to be them. But when you point this out to someone with curly hair, it’s even more obnoxious because it’s like saying, “Gosh, I’m glad I don’t have to wake up every day and look like you,” which is just a nicer way of insulting them than just insulting them sounds.
I Would Die
Another insult. By pointing out to someone that you think their hair is enough to make you want to die, it’s not very nice. Most people live by the rule that if you haven’t anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all. Unfortunately, it seems most everyone else in the world has forgotten all about this particular rule, because they keep talking about these things even though they shouldn’t. Keep it to yourself, thank you very much.
I Wish I Had Curly Hair
No you don’t. People with curly hair hate hearing about how everyone else wishes they had curly hair. They hate it because they know that you’re standing on the other side of the fence looking at the currently very green grass and not realizing that it’s only green a few days of the year and it’s dead and brown the rest of the days of the year. Curly hair is gorgeous, but it’s a lot of work. Wish for it, but don’t tell people you wish for it.
Can I Touch It?
In fact, this question is one that almost every person on the planet hates to hear, curly hair or not. Those with curly hair hate the question because their hair is not a toy for you to play with. Those without curly hair hate it because it’s inappropriate for many reasons. For example, a pregnant woman doesn’t want to hear this question any more than someone with curls. It’s never under any circumstance all right to touch another person, and it’s usually not made better by phrasing it as a question first.
Wow! You Look So Good with Straight Hair!
It sounds to you like a compliment, but to someone with curly hair, it sounds like a backhanded compliment. Utter this phrase to someone with curly hair and all they hear is, “You look so good with straight hair because it’s a downright disgusting mess every other day. Do this more often and you’ll be beautiful! Don’t leave your hair natural anymore, it’s awful,” and they kind of wish you’d be quiet. It’s an insult to tell someone they look amazing when they do something different without clarifying that they look lovely naturally, as well.
Do You Have to Curl It Every Day?
When someone tells you that their curls are natural, it means they do not have to curl it every day. So when you ask repeatedly if their hair is something they have to curl on a daily basis, you’re just annoying them. Stop it. When you ask this question of a woman with curly hair, she wonders why you are not smart enough to realize that when she says it’s naturally curly, it means she does nothing to it but wash it and hope that it will stay put for at least some portion of her day.
Why Don’t You Just Straighten It?
When you ask someone with curly hair why they don’t just straighten their hair on a daily basis, it’s like asking a mom with 8 kids why she doesn’t just tell her kids no and end the whining. What does that mean? That means it’s pointless and at the end of the day, it doesn’t actually matter. It takes too much time and the results are never what you wanted. Straightening curly hair takes time – much more than most people have. And it never stays that way. It’s a question that also kind of implies that you think they need to straighten it, which is always a negative.
How Do You Get it to Look Like That?
Most women with curly hair are just born with it. They don’t do anything special to it to get it to look the way it does on a regular basis. In fact, most of them really want to respond to you with a very sarcastic, “Take a shower and hope for the best,” when asked how they get their hair to curl the way that it does. It’s all natural, and it’s all in the hands of God.
That Actress’ Curly Hair is Different Than Yours
Yes, it would look much more amazing if we had the time to have our naturally curly hair straightened and then re-curled with a curling iron and then sprayed over and over again with hairspray for the rest of the day. Oh, and it’s also easy to have great curls when you have a hairdresser on hand to fix them between each take. That’s why that actress has better curly hair than me. She has a team. And hours of her day to spend in the chair having her hair done.
Yes, I Have Super Frizzy Hair
When someone with stick straight hair mentions their frizz, people with curly hair want to trip them. It’s not nice, but it’s the truth. They kind of hate you. Sure, you might have frizz you don’t like, and that’s fine. But you should find someone a little more appropriate to discuss this issue with, for example; someone else that doesn’t have frizzy hair, either. Your little flyaways aren’t anything to compare to a woman with really curly hair; and she doesn’t want to hear about it.
Want my Stylist’s Number?
When you recommend a great salon or stylist to someone who isn’t asking for you to recommend a great salon or stylist, it comes across as an intentionally rude statement. Imagine someone coming up to you and saying something like, “I know an amazing plastic surgeon! Want his number?” when you did not mention you were thinking of an implant, lift, nip or tuck. It’s going to sound rude and hurtful, and it never fails to make a woman with curly hair feel even worse about herself than she might already be feeling.
This Humidity is Killing Me!
If you don’t have curly hair, and you talk about how difficult it is to have a good hair day in the humidity, most people are going to wish you would lock your keys in your car and have to stand in the rain for a while. Women with curly hair have rough days when it’s raining or humid, because the moisture in the air makes their hair bouncier, springier and even curlier than usual. There’s almost no point in even styling curly hair on a day like this because the weather is going to kill it, anyway.
You Don’t Have a Brush?
Curly hair people don’t usually brush their hair. You might wonder why, and the answer is simple; brushing curly hair is a bad idea. It becomes frizzy and crazy and not at all attractive. In fact, most women with exceptionally curly hair just wash it and go, maybe after combining it a few times to get the knots out. It’s a wash and wear style, and it’s one that most women are too nervous to brush. So don’t judge their lack of brushes as being a hygienic thing; it’s an “I don’t want even frizzier hair,” thing.
You’re So Lucky *Sigh*
Yes, it’s so lucky to have curls you love every so often. It totally makes up for the fact that women with curly hair have nothing to do with their hair the other 363 days of the year. Those cute styles you see all over Pinterest boards with great length, waves or straight styles? Those gorgeous styles you see where women have long, angled bobs and sleek, sophisticated hair cuts? Those are the ones that curly hair women will never experience thanks to their amazing curls.
Why Do You Need So Many Products?
Most women with curly hair have a lot of product in their bathroom, and hearing their guests make comments about the sheer amount of product in their homes is annoying to them. They’re trying to tame something that’s wild and virtually untamable, which means using product after product to help make this happen. No big deal, however. Women who want to look at least somewhat tamed will just ignore your comment and ask you why you don’t use more in your own hair.
You Have So Much Hair!
Let’s ask this question; how would you feel if someone were to come up to you and point out something you hate about your hair. For example, your receding hairline? “You have such a big bald spot! Why do you have such a big bald spot?” And now you know how people feel about hearing you tell them they have so much hair. They know. And they deal with it all the time. Don’t remind them. Make like Elsa and Anna and Let it Go.
Why Does it Take You So Long to Get Ready?
Women with curly hair need more time. They need all the time in the world. Since they don’t have that, they take every possible second available to them to make their hair look somewhat presentable before they leave the house. A ponytail means taming fly-aways. Leaving it down means trying to tame all of it. A braid takes time to untangle the knots. It just takes time. And it’s not fun to listen to other people clarify that it’s too much time.
OMG. Your Hair is On Everything
Yes, I shed on purpose so that you can find my hair everywhere in the office or the house and I can gross you out. It falls out on command, doesn’t yours? Women with curly hair have some problems when it comes to losing hair. So do people with straight hair, but since curly hair is usually so much thicker and has so much more texture, it’s that much easier to find laying around the house, on the sink, in the shower, or attached to the back of every office chair in the building. It’s everywhere; we know. It’s not on purpose.
You Should Try My Conditioner
At some point, people simply need to realize that things don’t work on curly hair. Your amazing conditioner might work for you, but it doesn’t work for people with curly hair. If something worked on their hair, they’d use it all the time. They’d have heard of it by now. Also, when you suggest this, it’s just another way of pointing out to people that you think they could look just a little bit better with a little bit of extra work and effort on their looks.
What’s the Big Deal? It’s Just Sprinkling!
Um….even just a little water on curly hair is a disaster. The idea of just getting a little wet isn’t something that applies to curly hair. Curly hair women have some serious curly hair issues. They have to deal with the frizz. They have to deal with the hair going from okay to terrible, and they have to deal with the concept of all that lost time getting ready this morning. All that hard work ends up being for nothing, and it’s just a little heartbreaking for women to realize that.
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