7 Habits That Make Women Look Less Confident, According to Psychologists

Confidence can shape how others see us and how we see ourselves. Sometimes, small habits we barely notice can send signals that make us appear less self-assured than we truly are. Psychologists have identified certain behaviors that quietly undermine a woman’s confident presence, and recognizing them is the first step toward change.

1. Constantly Apologizing for Things That Aren’t Your Fault

Saying sorry too often can make you seem unsure of yourself.

Women frequently apologize for minor things like asking a question or taking up space in a conversation.

Psychologists note this habit stems from wanting to avoid conflict or appear polite.

However, excessive apologizing makes others question your authority and expertise.

Breaking this pattern takes practice.

Try replacing unnecessary apologies with statements like “thank you for waiting” instead of “sorry I’m late.”

Awareness is key.

Notice when you’re about to apologize and ask yourself if you actually did something wrong.

2. Using Upspeak or Ending Statements Like Questions

Upspeak happens when your voice rises at the end of sentences, making statements sound like questions.

This vocal pattern suggests uncertainty even when you know exactly what you’re talking about.

Research shows people perceive upspeak as a sign of insecurity or seeking approval.

Your ideas might be brilliant, but the delivery undermines their impact.

Recording yourself during conversations can help identify this habit.

Practice speaking with a steady or downward inflection at sentence endings.

Confidence comes through in your voice.

Speaking declaratively helps others take your words more seriously.

3. Shrinking Your Physical Presence

Adopting closed or tight postures, such as crossed arms or legs, often signals discomfort or low confidence in women, according to body language research.

Taking up less space might feel polite, but it actually diminishes your presence in important situations. Confident people claim their space without apology.

Try adopting power poses before important meetings.

Stand tall with shoulders back and feet planted firmly on the ground.

Your physical stance affects how others perceive you and how you feel internally.

Expansive postures boost confidence hormones naturally.

4. Qualifying Your Opinions with Softening Language

Phrases like “I might be wrong, but” or “This is just my opinion” weaken your message before you even deliver it.

Psychologists call these hedging statements, and they make you sound less credible.

While humility has value, constant qualification signals you don’t trust your own judgment.

Colleagues may dismiss your contributions when you present them tentatively.

State your ideas directly without unnecessary disclaimers.

Replace “I think maybe we could” with “I recommend we” for stronger impact.

Your expertise matters.

Speaking with conviction doesn’t make you arrogant—it makes you professional and trustworthy in your field.

5. Avoiding Eye Contact During Conversations

Looking away when speaking or listening sends powerful nonverbal signals about your confidence level.

Eye contact establishes connection and demonstrates self-assurance in social and professional settings.

Many women look down or away to appear modest or avoid seeming aggressive.

Unfortunately, this behavior reads as nervousness or dishonesty to others.

Practice maintaining comfortable eye contact for a few seconds at a time.

You don’t need to stare intensely—just hold someone’s gaze naturally during conversation.

Strong eye contact communicates engagement and confidence.

It shows you believe in what you’re saying and value the exchange.

6. Seeking Excessive Validation Before Taking Action

When you constantly seek approval, it signals doubt in your own abilities.

Confident professionals trust their judgment and take calculated risks without needing reassurance.

Psychologists link this habit to fear of failure or criticism.

While seeking input is smart, depending on others’ validation for every move prevents you from developing independent confidence.

Start making small decisions autonomously and owning the outcomes.

Build trust in your problem-solving abilities through experience.

Self-reliance grows with practice.

You’ll discover that most decisions don’t require group consensus, and mistakes become valuable learning opportunities.

7. Fidgeting and Engaging in Nervous Movements

Playing with hair, touching your face, tapping fingers, or adjusting clothing repeatedly broadcasts anxiety to everyone around you.

These unconscious movements distract from your message and suggest discomfort.

Behavioral psychologists explain that fidgeting releases nervous energy but simultaneously signals lack of composure.

People may focus on your restless movements rather than your words.

Becoming aware of your fidgeting triggers helps you control them.

Keep hands visible and still, perhaps resting on a table or holding a pen purposefully.

Stillness projects calm confidence.

When your body language is composed, people naturally perceive you as more capable and in control.