15 Old-School Dating Rules from the 1970s That Seem Ridiculous Today

Ah, the 1970s—a decade known for its disco balls, bell bottoms, and a slew of dating rules that might make today’s singles scratch their heads in disbelief. Picture a time when men were expected to take the lead in all romantic endeavors, while women waited patiently, hoping for a call or a knock on the door. These old-school dating rules reflect a different era, filled with social norms that often left individuals playing roles rather than expressing their true selves. Let’s explore 15 of these intriguing, sometimes amusing, and often outdated dating customs that defined romantic interactions over 40 years ago.

The Man Always Had to Make the First Move

In the 1970s, the dating world was distinctly divided by gender roles. Men were not just encouraged but expected to make the first move. Women, on the other hand, were supposed to be passive, waiting for the man to take the lead. Initiating a conversation, let alone asking someone out, was seen as unfeminine and overly assertive.

Such societal expectations often meant that women had to hide their interest and play a waiting game. While it might sound quaint now, this rule left many relationships unrealized. It was a time when one’s romantic destiny often hung in the balance of traditional norms.

Interestingly, this rule often led to creative strategies by women who wanted to show interest without overstepping.

Never Call a Man First

In the era of rotary phones and landlines, women were generally advised against calling a man first. Making a phone call to a guy was considered bold, even brash. The idea was rooted in the belief that men should be the pursuers, and women the pursued.

This rule often left women waiting anxiously by the phone, hoping for a call that might not come. It was a test of patience, wrapped in societal expectations of the time.

The rule ignored the possibility of mutual interest and was more about maintaining a certain decorum. It contributed to a dance of anticipation that could be both thrilling and frustrating.

Playing Hard to Get Was Mandatory

In the ’70s, playing hard to get wasn’t just a suggestion—it was a mandate. Women were supposed to appear aloof, even if they were genuinely interested. Showing eagerness was equated with desperation, which was socially frowned upon.

This rule was all about maintaining an air of mystery and allure, keeping admirers guessing and intrigued. The challenge was in balancing interest with indifference.

Ironically, this approach often led to misunderstandings and missed connections, as genuine feelings were masked by a facade of disinterest. It was a delicate dance of emotions, played out under the watchful eyes of societal norms.

Dating Multiple People at Once Was Taboo

Back in the 1970s, serial monogamy was the norm, and dating multiple people was considered scandalous. If you were seen with more than one person romantically, it was a surefire way to raise eyebrows and invite gossip.

The era emphasized commitment, even if the relationship was just budding. The notion was that dating should be a direct path to something serious.

This mindset often put pressure on relationships to escalate quickly, sometimes before the individuals involved were ready. It was a time when the lines between dating and being in a relationship were more clearly defined.

Wait 3 Days Before Returning a Call

The infamous “wait three days” rule was in full swing during the ’70s, dictating that neither party should seem too eager by returning a call too soon. The reasoning was that immediate responses made one appear desperate.

Instead, waiting a few days was supposed to convey a cool, collected demeanor. This unspoken rule was a game of patience and restraint.

However, it often led to awkward pauses in communication and unnecessary misunderstandings. The rule was less about genuine interaction and more about maintaining an image of nonchalance, even when interest was mutual and enthusiasm genuine.

Always Let the Man Pay

During the 1970s, chivalry was closely associated with financial gestures, meaning men were expected to foot the bill. Even if a woman had a successful career, societal norms dictated that the man should always pay.

This rule not only reinforced gender roles but also placed financial pressure on men to prove their worthiness as potential partners. Splitting the bill was practically unheard of and often scandalous.

While it was a gesture of supposed gentlemanly conduct, it sometimes overshadowed genuine connection. This expectation was a cultural artifact that is much less prevalent today, as relationships now emphasize partnership and equality.

Women Shouldn’t Talk About Intimacy

In the 1970s, discussions about intimacy were often stifled by societal expectations. Women were expected to embody purity and mystery, steering clear of openly expressing any desires.

Such restrictions were part of a broader cultural script that dictated how women should behave, often at the cost of authentic expression. Talking about intimacy was considered taboo, a topic to be avoided in polite company.

This silence around female desire contributed to a culture of misunderstanding and repression. It was a time when women had to navigate their physical pleasure within narrow confines, often in contrast with personal feelings and reality.

Dress to Impress — But Don’t Be Too Revealing

Fashion in the ’70s was a balancing act, especially for women who were expected to dress in a way that was both attractive and modest. The idea was to look polished but not overly revealing, maintaining an image of femininity without crossing an invisible line.

Bold fashion choices that flaunted body confidence could lead to judgment and scrutiny. This dress code was unwritten but widely adhered to, a reflection of the cultural norms of the time.

Navigating these expectations often meant sacrificing personal style for societal approval, a trade-off that many found limiting and frustrating.

Wait Until the Third Date for a Kiss

The rule of waiting until the third date for a first kiss was a staple of 1970s dating etiquette. It was a guideline that set a timeline for physical intimacy, reflecting a cautious approach to romance.

This rule was less about the actual feelings of those involved and more about adhering to a socially accepted standard. It created a build-up of anticipation but also added pressure to early relationships.

While it might have added an element of mystery, it often led to overthinking and stress, overshadowing the spontaneity that can make early romance exciting and fun.

Men Had to Pick You Up at Your Door

In the 1970s, a gentlemanly gesture involved the man picking up his date at her doorstep. This wasn’t just a formality but a demonstration of respect and interest, often involving meeting the parents.

Even for casual outings, this ritual was expected, adding layers of pressure to what was supposed to be a relaxed encounter. The act was seen as an essential part of the dating process, reinforcing traditional roles.

While this rule might seem charming now, it sometimes added an unnecessary formality to simple interactions, complicating what should have been straightforward and spontaneous.

Meeting the Parents Was Expected Early On

In the ’70s, relationships moved quickly from casual to serious, with meeting the parents happening much earlier than is common today. This introduction was less about personal readiness and more about adhering to societal norms.

The pressure to formalize a relationship this way could be daunting, imposing expectations that might not yet align with the couple’s feelings. It added a layer of seriousness to dating that often felt premature.

Despite the potential for awkwardness, this practice was a rite of passage that signaled commitment, whether or not the individuals were ready for such a step.

No Talking About Politics or Money

Good manners in the 1970s dictated that certain topics were off-limits on dates, especially politics and money. These subjects were considered too controversial or personal for early interactions.

The focus was on polite, pleasant conversation, avoiding anything that might lead to disagreement or discomfort. This rule often led to superficial exchanges rather than genuine connection.

While intended to keep dates light, it sometimes hindered deeper understanding between potential partners. The guideline reflected a time when maintaining a harmonious facade was prioritized over authentic exchange.

Women Were Pressured to Marry Young

In the 1970s, there was significant social pressure on women to marry young. Dating was often seen as a direct path to marriage, with singles facing subtle or overt reminders not to “wait too long.”

This societal expectation discounted personal choice, pushing individuals towards commitment earlier than they might have preferred. It was a time when the clock was perceived to be ticking loudly for young women.

While many embraced this path, others felt constrained by the timeline imposed upon them, yearning for more freedom to explore personal and career goals before settling down.

You Had to Pretend You Didn’t Know What You Wanted

In the ’70s, clarity about one’s dating intentions was often seen as pushy. Individuals, especially women, were expected to go with the flow rather than articulate their desires clearly.

This approach meant that many had to hide their true feelings or intentions, adding layers of complexity to budding relationships. It was a time when ambiguity was mistakenly equated with charm.

While flexibility can be beneficial, the lack of clear communication often led to misunderstandings and mismatched expectations, complicating the path to genuine connection.

Being Single at 30 Was a Red Flag

The 1970s carried a stigma for those who remained single into their 30s, particularly women. Being unmarried by this age often led to assumptions that something was amiss.

This societal pressure added stress to those who hadn’t yet found a partner, overshadowing their personal and professional achievements. The notion was deeply ingrained, reflecting a time when marriage was seen as a key life goal.

Though times have changed, this rule serves as a reminder of an era when personal timelines were dictated by societal expectations rather than individual choice.