13 Things No One Should Ever Say Over Text—Seriously

Texting has become our go-to communication method, but some conversations deserve more than just tapping on a screen. We’ve all been there – sending a message we instantly regret or receiving news that would’ve been better delivered face-to-face.

The tiny blue bubbles on our phones simply can’t capture the nuance, emotion, and respect certain topics demand.

1. Break up with someone

Ending a relationship deserves the dignity of a face-to-face conversation. Texting this bombshell leaves the other person with zero closure and countless questions they can’t ask in real-time.

The emotional impact gets magnified when someone reads these words alone, without seeing your expressions or hearing your tone. People often reread breakup texts hundreds of times, analyzing every word and punctuation mark for hidden meanings.

Instead, arrange to meet somewhere neutral and private. If distance makes meeting impossible, at minimum schedule a video call where you can both see each other’s reactions and have a proper conversation.

2. Deliver bad news

Learning about a loved one’s accident, illness, or death through cold text is unnecessarily traumatic. The recipient might be driving, in a meeting, or somewhere unsafe to receive shocking news.

Without your physical presence, they face the initial wave of grief completely alone. The impersonal nature of text can make the news feel even more devastating and isolating.

Always make a phone call for urgent bad news. Start with “Are you somewhere you can talk?” to ensure they’re prepared for a difficult conversation. This approach shows respect and gives them a chance to find support before hearing something life-changing.

3. Argue or fight

Text arguments quickly spiral out of control because we can’t see facial expressions or hear tone of voice. Messages get misinterpreted, and before you know it, you’re in a full-blown text war over something minor.

The time lag between messages creates anxiety and allows anger to build. You might send something harsh in the heat of the moment that you can’t take back.

Save disagreements for in-person conversations where you can read body language and respond thoughtfully. If distance makes that impossible, schedule a video call instead. Remember the old advice: never go to bed angry – especially with unresolved text arguments hanging over your head.

4. Share sensitive or confidential information

Text messages aren’t secure communication channels. They can be intercepted, forwarded accidentally, or seen by someone looking over the recipient’s shoulder. Your phone could be stolen with all those messages intact.

Many people don’t realize that standard SMS messages aren’t encrypted. Even if you trust the recipient completely, you can’t control what happens to the information once it leaves your phone.

For sensitive information, use secure channels designed for confidential data. Banking apps, password managers, or encrypted messaging services with disappearing message features offer better protection. Better yet, share sensitive details verbally when appropriate rather than creating a permanent digital record.

5. Send mixed signals

Ambiguous messages create unnecessary confusion and anxiety. The recipient spends hours analyzing your words, wondering if you’re genuinely interested or just being polite.

Mixed signals through text are particularly problematic because there’s no tone of voice or body language to provide context clues. What you intend as casual might come across as disinterested or vice versa.

Be clear about your intentions instead. If you want to see someone, say so directly: “I’d love to have dinner with you on Friday.” If you’re not interested, it’s kinder to be honest than to send confusing messages that leave someone hanging. Clear communication builds trust and prevents misunderstandings.

6. Make major decisions

Major life decisions deserve more thoughtful communication than a casual text. Announcing big changes this way can make important people in your life feel like afterthoughts rather than priorities.

These conversations benefit from real-time discussion where questions can be asked and answered immediately. Your friends and family deserve the chance to see your excitement, share their concerns, or offer support in the moment.

For life-changing decisions, arrange a phone call, video chat, or in-person meeting with those closest to you. This approach shows respect for your relationships and allows for meaningful conversation about your plans. Save the mass text announcement for after you’ve told your inner circle personally.

7. Apologize for serious mistakes

Serious apologies require genuine vulnerability that text simply can’t convey. Hiding behind a screen for major relationship transgressions feels cowardly and often makes the situation worse.

A meaningful apology includes acknowledging the hurt caused, accepting responsibility without excuses, and showing real remorse. These elements are nearly impossible to communicate effectively through text, where the recipient can’t see your sincerity or hear the emotion in your voice.

For significant mistakes, have the courage to apologize face-to-face. This demonstrates respect and willingness to face the consequences of your actions. While the conversation will be uncomfortable, it offers the only real chance for healing and potentially rebuilding trust.

8. Announce big life events

Life’s biggest moments deserve more than a text notification. Major announcements like pregnancies, engagements, or other life-changing news feel diminished when delivered through the same channel used for grocery lists and quick hellos.

The joy of sharing big news comes partly from seeing loved ones’ reactions in real time. Those precious moments of surprise, tears, and hugs can never be replicated through text.

Call or visit important people in your life for major announcements. If distance makes this impossible, at least use video chat to share the moment together. Save the mass text or social media announcement for after you’ve personally told those closest to you – they’ll appreciate being prioritized for your biggest news.

9. End friendships

Ending a friendship via text shows a lack of respect for the history you’ve shared. Even troubled friendships deserve the dignity of a proper conversation about why things aren’t working.

Text messages make it too easy to say things you might regret later. Without the natural pauses and emotional cues of in-person conversation, you might come across as harsher than intended.

If a friendship has run its course, meet for coffee or schedule a phone call. Explain your feelings calmly and listen to their perspective too. This approach provides proper closure for both parties and acknowledges the significance of the relationship, even as it ends. Sometimes these conversations even lead to reconciliation rather than permanent endings.

10. Vent about people you both know

Gossiping about mutual friends through text creates a permanent record that can easily be screenshot and shared. What seems like a private conversation can quickly become public and hurtful.

Text removes important context clues that might indicate you’re joking or being sarcastic. Comments that would seem harmless in person can come across as mean-spirited when read on a screen.

If you need to discuss someone’s concerning behavior, do it verbally where the conversation can’t be documented and shared. Better yet, ask yourself if the conversation is necessary at all. Remember the old saying: if you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t say it behind their back – especially in a format that creates permanent evidence of your words.

11. Ask deeply personal questions

Deeply personal questions deserve the safety and nuance of a face-to-face conversation. Text creates a permanent record of sensitive discussions that might be uncomfortable for the recipient to have documented.

Without seeing their reaction, you can’t gauge if your question has caused distress or if they need immediate emotional support. Some topics trigger strong feelings that shouldn’t be navigated alone while staring at a screen.

Save intimate questions for private, in-person conversations where you can read body language and respond appropriately. Create a supportive environment by choosing a comfortable setting and making it clear they don’t have to answer if they’re not ready. This approach shows genuine care rather than casual curiosity about their personal struggles.

12. Ghost someone

Ghosting someone leaves them in a painful limbo of confusion and self-doubt. The person left behind often spends weeks wondering what they did wrong or if something terrible happened to you.

While confrontation feels uncomfortable, completely disappearing is actually the more hurtful option. Most people would rather hear a difficult truth than be left with no closure at all.

If you need to end communication with someone, send a brief, kind message explaining that you need space or don’t feel the connection is right for you. You don’t need to provide extensive details, but a simple acknowledgment respects the human on the other end. This final message provides closure for both parties and prevents unnecessary worry.

13. Overuse emojis or sarcasm in serious conversations

Overloading serious messages with emojis creates confusion about how you really feel. In professional or important personal contexts, emoji overkill makes it hard to determine your actual tone and intentions.

A message filled with angry faces, eye rolls, and other emotional symbols can come across as passive-aggressive or immature. This approach undermines the seriousness of your message and makes it easier for the recipient to dismiss your concerns.

For important conversations, use clear language that directly expresses your feelings instead. Something like “I felt frustrated during today’s meeting and would like to discuss it” communicates your emotions effectively without the ambiguity of emoji interpretation. Save the emoji clusters for celebrating good news or casual conversations.